Well, I am thinking: equestrian. Is this any more eligible as an Olympic sport than Formula 1? The horse is not an athlete, it is an animal. Albeit a trained animal, but an animal nonetheless. What does a jockey do? It "drives" the animal. The jockey doesn't impart any athletic ability to the horse. If you run a horse at an obstacle, it will either jump it, scoot round it, or stop. They aren't stupid. But, the animal is basically just a vehicle.
However, a Formula 1 car will not automatically steer or brake (not since they banned all the gizmos from the 1980s
). And it is well known that F1 drivers have rigorous training programmes to ensure they are at the peak of physical fitness. Judging by the horse riders round my way, the only training they do involves referring to their father as "daddy" and ensuring a VPL when they wrench their jodpers on over their fat bottoms.
So, I put it that so long as Equestrian events are allowed in the Olympics, there must also be motor racing events.
Of course that is a very silly suggestion, but that is my point. Horses have no place in the Olympics, in the same way that Linford Christie has no place running at Kempton Park.
Perhaps as an alternative sport, the riders could walk along BEHIND the horses and shovel up all the poo as they go. This way perhaps non-olympic riders might be inclined to clean up after the bu**ers. I love horses, but if you insist on riding them on the road you should carry a shovel and pull a trailer.
