An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit.'How many
children?' asks the council worker.'10' replies the Essex girl.'10?' says
the council worker. 'What are their names?''Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne,
Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne.''Doesn't that get
confusing?''Naah...' says the Essex girl 'its great because if they are
out playing in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY, or WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it...''What if you want to speak to one individually?' says the perturbed council worker.'That's easy,'
says the Essex girl... 'I just use their surnames.'
An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter.'I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress.' she
says.'Come again?' says the clerk, cupping his ear.'No' she replies. 'This
time it's mayonnaise.'
An Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex Girl notices
something strange about the wellies the Irish guy is wearing. She says,
'Scuse me mate, I aint being funny or nuffink, but why doz one of your
wellies 'ave an L on it and the uva one's got an R on it?'The Irish guy
smiles, puts down his glass of Guinness and replies, 'Well, I'm a little
bit tick you see. The one wit the R on it is for me right foot and the one
wit the L is for me Left foot''Cor blimey', exclaims the Essex girl, 'So
THAT'S why me knickers 'ave got C&A on them!'
children?' asks the council worker.'10' replies the Essex girl.'10?' says
the council worker. 'What are their names?''Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne,
Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne.''Doesn't that get
confusing?''Naah...' says the Essex girl 'its great because if they are
out playing in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY, or WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it...''What if you want to speak to one individually?' says the perturbed council worker.'That's easy,'
says the Essex girl... 'I just use their surnames.'
An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter.'I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress.' she
says.'Come again?' says the clerk, cupping his ear.'No' she replies. 'This
time it's mayonnaise.'
An Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex Girl notices
something strange about the wellies the Irish guy is wearing. She says,
'Scuse me mate, I aint being funny or nuffink, but why doz one of your
wellies 'ave an L on it and the uva one's got an R on it?'The Irish guy
smiles, puts down his glass of Guinness and replies, 'Well, I'm a little
bit tick you see. The one wit the R on it is for me right foot and the one
wit the L is for me Left foot''Cor blimey', exclaims the Essex girl, 'So
THAT'S why me knickers 'ave got C&A on them!'
