The Duck

12 Feb 2014
Reaction score
United Kingdom
A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a
Ham sandwich.

The barman looks at him
And says,

"Hang on! You're a duck."

"I see your eyes are
Working,"replies the duck.

"And you can talk!"
Exclaims the barman.

"I see your ears are
Working, too," Says the

"Now if you don't mind,
Can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"

"Certainly, sorry about that,
"Says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint.

"It 's just we don't get many ducks in this pub.. What are you doing round this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road,"
Explains the duck.

"I'm a plasterer."

The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but
Takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from
His bag and proceeds to read

So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.

The same thing happens for two weeks.

Then one day the circus
Comes to town.

The ringmaster comes into
The pub for a pint and the barman says to him

"You're with the circus,
Aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just
Brilliant in your circus. He
Talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"

"Sounds marvellous," says
The ringmaster, handing over his business card.

"Get him to give me a call."

So the next day when the
Duck comes into the pub
The barman says,

"Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I
Can line you up with a top
Job, paying really good

"I'm always looking for the next job," Says the duck.

"Where is it?"

"At the circus," Says the barman.

"The circus?" Repeats the

"That's right," Replies the barman.

"The circus?"

The duck asks again. With
The big tent?"

"Yeah," the barman replies.

"With all the animals who
Live in cages, and
Performers who live in caravans?" says the duck.

"Of course," the barman replies.

"And the tent has canvas
Sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck.

"That's right!" says the

The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says.. . .......
> .

> .

> .

> .

> .

"What the f*ck would they want with a plasterer??!"
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That's a favourite among spreads.

As an aside, if it were a goose rather than a duck, would you search for it on gaggle?
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