The joke thread.

[Deleted member 310928]

For the sparkies

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two but I have no idea how they got in there.

 

[pete01]

Two men are on opposite sides of a river. The first man shouts to the second, "How do I get to the other side of the river?"

The second man shouts back, "You are on the other side of the river!"

Made me chuckle, the mrs thinks I'm nuts

 

[pete01]

 

[pete01]

 

[pete01]

 

[pete01]

 

[Deleted member 310928]

Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?

Because if they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat.

 

[Deleted member 310928]

Two antennae got married. The ceremony was lovely but the reception was terrible

 

[pete01]

 

[Deleted member 310928]

What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

Aye Matey.

 

[Deleted member 310928]

Why did Pete get sick?

Because he ate too much galaxy chocolate.

 

[pete01]

Why did Pete get sick?

Because he ate too much galaxy chocolate.

Nice

 

[pete01]

 

[pete01]

 

[Deleted member 310928]

A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says: "You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately."

The guy says OK, and drives away.

The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, and they're all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands: "I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?"

The guy replies: "I did ... today I'm taking them to the beach!"