After posting about the musings of a strategically shaven ape in a local pub, I thought I would start a thread on things people say. You know, those daft things that don't really make sense when you apply logic.
1. "You're going home in an ambulance" - Funny, they always seem to drive straight to the hospital, seldom dropping anyone off home on the way
2. "You're gonna wake up unconscious/dead" - Kind of "unpossible", methinks
3. "You'll be eating through a straw" - Now, I would think that eating usually consists of biting and chewing on solids. Surely "you'll be drinking liquidised food through a straw" would be more correct?
4. "I'm going to put your nose on the back of your face" - Granted, if a plastic surgeon told me this whilst I was being anaesthetised, I would feel there was a danger of truth in this. But I doubt this man has any grasp of the complexities of reconstructive medicine.
5. "I'm going to kick your a**e" - Have you ever actually seen someone do this? I believe it is a confusionary tactic. Your opponent then thinks "Right, better watch that right foot and my left buttock then!" and whilst trying to protect against that, you actually punch them.
1. "You're going home in an ambulance" - Funny, they always seem to drive straight to the hospital, seldom dropping anyone off home on the way
2. "You're gonna wake up unconscious/dead" - Kind of "unpossible", methinks
3. "You'll be eating through a straw" - Now, I would think that eating usually consists of biting and chewing on solids. Surely "you'll be drinking liquidised food through a straw" would be more correct?
4. "I'm going to put your nose on the back of your face" - Granted, if a plastic surgeon told me this whilst I was being anaesthetised, I would feel there was a danger of truth in this. But I doubt this man has any grasp of the complexities of reconstructive medicine.
5. "I'm going to kick your a**e" - Have you ever actually seen someone do this? I believe it is a confusionary tactic. Your opponent then thinks "Right, better watch that right foot and my left buttock then!" and whilst trying to protect against that, you actually punch them.