Useful Lessons

[Panmure]

I was a bit hungry a few days and had a strangely healthy urge to eat some fruit, so I went around the corner to the local shop. Outside the door they had a fruit rack. It all looked pretty cheap so I thought I might as well stock up and take some home. We tend to eat apples and bananas so I priced them up. Apples were 12p and bananas were 17p. Sounded good. Then I put my hand in my pocket to find I only had a few bits of loose change - counted it out to to be £1.15.

As I stood there trying to work out what was the largest number of peices of fruit I could buy with the change in my pocket it dawned on me that I was living a school maths problem.

Anybody else ever found themselves in a school lesson situation - perhaps being inadvertently swept into an oxbow lake or trying to work out what time the train from Glasgow will crash into the train from Manchester...?

 

[splinter]

EErrr,
Bit to deep for a Friday Night

 

[Panmure]

yeah, killing time before going out. If you think that this is deep, you should have a look at my Slang Discovery post.

We're a sophisticated lot around here...

 

[ban-all-sheds]

Reminds me of this...

City of Los Angeles
High School Math Proficiency Exam


Name:__________________________
Gang:__________________________

1. Johnny has an AK-47 with an 80-round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive-by shooting, how many drive-by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload?

2. Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8-ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Billy for $85 per gram. What is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn't cut it?

3. Rufus is pimping for three girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800-per-day crack habit?

4. Jarone wants to cut his 1/2 pound of heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounces of cut will he need?

5. Willie gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy, and $100 for a 4X4. If he has stolen 2 BMWs, 3 4X4s, how many Chevies will he have to steal to make $800?

6. Raoul is in prison for 6 years for murder. He got $10,000 for the hit. If his common law wife is spending $100 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out of prison and how many years will he get for killing the bitch that spent his money?

7. If the average spray can covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can a tagger spray with 3 cans of paint?

8. Hector knocked up 6 girls in his gang. There are 27 girls in the gang. What percentage of the girls in the gang has Hector knocked up?

9. Thelma can cook dinner for her 16 children for $7.50 per night. She gets $234 a month welfare for each child. If her $325 per month rent goes up 15%, how many more children should she have to keep up with her expenses?

10. Salvador was arrested for dealing crack and his bail was set at $25,000. If he pays a bail bondsman 12% and returns to Mexico, how much money will he lose by jumping bail?

 

[Fin]

Is'nt this racist?

 

[Slogger]

cant see the racism but i can see the horrible reality of some usa citys

trouble is we are not that far away from it take a late night stroll through your innercity areas and tell me if you feel safe

 

[splinter]

Is'nt this racist?

I tink it helps to have a sense of homer sometimes ,I find it a good way of dealing with life. Go on read it again

 

[Fin]

Call me pedantic but quite honestly does not this sort of thing reinforce the stereotype that Hispanics, West Indians and assorted other races involve themselves in violent, drug dealing and other nefarious activities.

The same sort of thing was done to the Irish at the turn-of-the-century and who can say that they have never been told the latest "Irish joke".

I like humour but not at the expense of other races.

By the way I do despise all Americans!

Fin

 

[Steve]

perhaps being inadvertently swept into an oxbow lake

not possible - an ox-bow lake is cut off from the river by sedimentation, as the river finds a new shorter path. so "being swept into one" from the river is not possible

 

[splinter]

Call me pedantic but quite honestly does not this sort of thing reinforce the stereotype that Hispanics, West Indians and assorted other races involve themselves in violent, drug dealing and other nefarious activities.

The same sort of thing was done to the Irish at the turn-of-the-century and who can say that they have never been told the latest "Irish joke".

I like humour but not at the expense of other races.

By the way I do despise all Americans!

Fin

Quite a vallied point you make there Fin, I suspect the man that made the post is so beside himself with shame about posting such a hpyocritical post
that reckon he will not be able to bring himself to post on here again.

PS know how you feel about the Americans

 

[splinter]

Reminds me of this...

City of Los Angeles
High School Math Proficiency Exam


Name:__________________________
Gang:__________________________

1. Johnny has an AK-47 with an 80-round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive-by shooting, how many drive-by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload?

2. Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8-ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Billy for $85 per gram. What is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn't cut it?

3. Rufus is pimping for three girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800-per-day crack habit?

4. Jarone wants to cut his 1/2 pound of heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounces of cut will he need?

5. Willie gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy, and $100 for a 4X4. If he has stolen 2 BMWs, 3 4X4s, how many Chevies will he have to steal to make $800?

6. Raoul is in prison for 6 years for murder. He got $10,000 for the hit. If his common law wife is spending $100 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out of prison and how many years will he get for killing the **** that spent his money?

7. If the average spray can covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can a tagger spray with 3 cans of paint?

8. Hector knocked up 6 girls in his gang. There are 27 girls in the gang. What percentage of the girls in the gang has Hector knocked up?

9. Thelma can cook dinner for her 16 children for $7.50 per night. She gets $234 a month welfare for each child. If her $325 per month rent goes up 15%, how many more children should she have to keep up with her expenses?

10. Salvador was arrested for dealing crack and his bail was set at $25,000. If he pays a bail bondsman 12% and returns to Mexico, how much money will he lose by jumping bail?

DOH

 

[Panmure]

Yes, prize goes to Crafty (by name, by nature) for spotting the deliberate mistake! You're quite right, you couldn't be swept into an oxbow lake (unless you happened to be there at the moment of the final sedimenation or carried over a levee into an alluvial flood plain during a high river). But...

Has anybody actually ever seen an oxbow lake? Place, date and time folks...

 

[Thermo]

Has anybody actually ever seen an oxbow lake? Place, date and time folks...

yep all during my life, every time i travelled between seaford and eastbourne. they occur about 2 miles from the mouth of the river cuckmere, across the flood plains. From my school days of geography i remember being told that they were one of the best text book examples in the world of them and that we were jolly lucky! You can stand there and literally see the course it used to take by joining them up

 

[Panmure]

Cool, I'm running for the train station as I type...

Actually I saw one once while on a train, although it looked a bit small. I think it might've been a fake.

 

[Thermo]

its also the place they filmed kevin costner and morgan freeman coming ashore in robin hood, rather than the white cliffs of dover which it was meant to be