Why Men are Happier

  • Thread starter Johnmelad502
  • Start date
J

Johnmelad502

NICKNAMES

· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.


EATING OUT

· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


MONEY

· A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.

· A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.


BATHROOMS

· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .

· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.


ARGUMENTS

· A woman has the last word in any argument.

· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


FUTURE

· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


SUCCESS

· A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

· A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


MARRIAGE

· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.


DRESSING UP

· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


OFFSPRING

· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house..



THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes.

There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
 
Sponsored Links
Sponsored Links

Similar threads

J
Replies
2
Views
384
J
Replies
0
Views
423
Johnmelad502
J
J
Replies
0
Views
336
Johnmelad502
J
Top