What are you watching on TV right now?

[Mottie]

Who wants to be a millionaire. Clarkson just helped someone lose £7k by giving her the wrong answer about which animal skin becomes soft after brushing heavily. The possible answers were Chiffon, velvet, suede and moleskin. He said he had a pair of moleskin trousers and that would be his guess so she went with that. FFS, how many moles would be needed to make a pair of trousers and have you ever heard of moles being farmed?

 

[Highway Man]

I. have never heard of a pair of moleskin trousers, surely he must be mistaken

 

[Mottie]

I. have never heard of a pair of moleskin trousers, surely he must be mistaken

I have. They are brushed cotton.

 

[Highway Man]

I have. They are brushed cotton.

I am going to check all of my clothing now to see if I have any without realising.

 

[Mottie]

I am going to check all of my clothing now to see if I have any without realising.

You might have. They can make excellent work trousers for those that work outside. A lot of farmers wear them.

 

[Highway Man]

You might have. They can make excellent work trousers for those that work outside. A lot of farmers wear them.

Sounds ridiculous

 

[Mottie]

Sounds ridiculous

Might be alright for you if you could find a pair to go over your strapping thighs.

 

[Highway Man]

Might be alright for you if you could find a pair to go over your strapping thighs.

It would take a lot of moles to make me a pair, probably a few thousand?

 

[Odds]

Just heard the new Masterchef winner on BBC breakfast telling of her victory that she "just wanted to put myself on a plate"; conjuring an alarming image of the winning dish: two artfully placed cherries and a banana go a long way these days, apparently.