OMG my massive European tour starts in less than two weeks time

Knave of Hearts said:

I said "reread", not "repeat".

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Cheers mate

Highway Man said:

Absolutely, they get carried away with themselves. I have sent a list of requirements including at what times I will be on our private deck for our suite. I insist not to rev the engines at these times and not to announce when we are arriving in ports etc. I think we are quite capable of knowing that without him screeching through a megaphone at us.

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Are you taking at least one disguise?

I say this because when people realise you are on board, you will be hounded day and night by ladies who desire you, and men who'll want to know your secrets to being so perfect.

So you'll need some way to go incognito.

Please try to stay away from the captain. If they find you, they will almost certainly ask you to captain the ship, which then means it's not much of a holiday for you.

diy_fun_uk said:

Are you taking at least one disguise?

I say this because when people realise you are on board, you will be hounded day and night by ladies who desire you, and men who'll want to know your secrets to being so perfect.

So you'll need some way to go incognito.

Please try to stay away from the captain. If they find you, they will almost certainly ask you to captain the ship, which then means it's not much of a holiday for you.

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Some excellent tips there. In all of the excitement it didn’t occur to me. You are right I need to look into this. The captain has already started to hound us before we have even stepped on board.

Highway Man said:

Some excellent tips there. In all of the excitement it didn’t occur to me. You are right I need to look into this. The captain has already started to hound us before we have even stepped on board.

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You never know. Mbk might be the captain

carmanmemoranda said:

You never know. Mbk might be the captain

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I would feel safer

Exactly 7 days time we join our ship and enter our suite. I suppose everyone is getting excited so here is the Itinary to see what you are all missing whilst having a glimpse of how the other half live. Isn't it great sharing this with you all, its my way of giving back.

Day 1. Arrive at Southampton and escorted or carried by my personal room help staff to my suite.

Day 2. At sea, relaxing in our own personal spa and deck area, (avoiding the normal cabin passengers)

Day 3. La Coruna Spain. A day of shopping and indulging in heavy drinking.

Day 4. At sea being pampered and visiting the casino gambling obscene amounts of money (enough to feed a small country)

Day 5. At sea relaxing on our private deck and mixing with verified dignitaries.

Day 6. Barcelona and being escorted to camp Nou to meet the team and give them some tips.

Day 7. Marseille to buy some luxury goods, Gucci watch for the wife and some Le Coste clothes for me with the help of our personal shopper.

Day 8. Florence/Pisa Italy. Personal shopper to take us to buy some Armani clothing and meet the designers to give them some fashion tips and advice.

Day 9. Rome where we meet the pope and offer him our congratulations and give him some fashion tips also to exchange gifts

Day 10. Corsica to shop and just spend some money on local rubbish for the hell of it to help their economy.

Day 11 to 15, sailing back to Southampton where during this time at sea I will be giving speeches and talks to the other passengers on the stage in the theatre and allowing them to take pictures with me,.

I have watched a lot of cruising programs on tv and the more I see the more i get put off. Especially when the ship docks and everyone piles off onto the arranged transport and delivered to the tourist spot, queue for hours all the tat sellers lined up ready for the ship.
Then what's that thing about the booking takes £££ off you as a gratuity before you have even had any service then you are made to queue up at refund desk like a dirty cheapskate.
Then a real risk of catching a gastric bug.
Food is always mentioned but you may have to book the restaurant day and the time weeks before you travel. Drinks are not included.
Then the snobbery of what room you are in.
When I am on holiday and planning a trip to the capital where there is a port I always make a note of the days a cruise ship is docking --- and avoid them because of the extra crowds.
There is nothing to like about a cruise.

aveatry said:

I have watched a lot of cruising programs on tv and the more I see the more i get put off. Especially when the ship docks and everyone piles off onto the arranged transport and delivered to the tourist spot, queue for hours all the tat sellers lined up ready for the ship.
Then what's that thing about the booking takes £££ off you as a gratuity before you have even had any service then you are made to queue up at refund desk like a dirty cheapskate.
Then a real risk of catching a gastric bug.
Food is always mentioned but you may have to book the restaurant day and the time weeks before you travel. Drinks are not included.
Then the snobbery of what room you are in.
When I am on holiday and planning a trip to the capital where there is a port I always make a note of the days a cruise ship is docking --- and avoid them because of the extra crowds.
There is nothing to like about a cruise.

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Oh you will find that life on a cruise is so different in a suite. First class service all the way, read my itinary above no ques and first to embark and dissembark. All food and drink is complementary and the speciality restaurants all have reserved bookings for suite travellers.