A Politican Goes To Heaven (joke)

Joined
24 Oct 2006
Messages
673
Reaction score
106
Location
London
Country
United Kingdom
While walking down the street one day a "Member of Parliament" is tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter. 'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.'
'No problem, just let me in,' says the man.
'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.'
'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,' says the MP.
'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.'
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises....
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
'Now it's time to visit heaven.'
So, 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.'
The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers: 'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.'
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. 'I don't understand,' stammers the MP. 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.
What happened?'
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, 'Yesterday we were campaigning.. ...

Today you voted.' :LOL:
 
Sponsored Links
:LOL: :LOL: Spot on, the crooks are out lying about what they'll do again, I don't vote tho. :evil:
 
:LOL: :LOL: Spot on, the crooks are out lying about what they'll do again, I don't vote tho. :evil:

So you will have no right to critcise then whoever gets in.

As the slogan says;

'Use it, don't lose it.'
 
:LOL: :LOL: Spot on, the crooks are out lying about what they'll do again, I don't vote tho. :evil:

So you will have no right to critcise then whoever gets in.

As the slogan says;

'Use it, don't lose it.'
I'm an extreme pessimist, we criticize whatever the weather. ;)

I've been told that one before, If the council's and government can give the BNP a say,( 1 of my many issuses) They don't deserve my time.
 
Sponsored Links
:LOL: :LOL: Spot on, the crooks are out lying about what they'll do again, I don't vote tho. :evil:

So you will have no right to critcise then whoever gets in.

As the slogan says;

'Use it, don't lose it.'

At the last general election I wrote none of the above on my paper. Do I have a right to criticise? :LOL:
 
That just doesn't make any sense at all.

If more people like you actually used their vote, then maybe they wouldn't have gained any say at all.

It wasn't the council's and government who gave the BNP a say, it was people like you who didn't bother to stop them.
 
Perhaps if no one votes it would be the signal for a coup, get rid of all the scum mp's and scum lords in one go and start afresh.

I think it is an insult to our intelligence that we are expected to vote for more self serving scum.
 
:LOL: :LOL: Spot on, the crooks are out lying about what they'll do again, I don't vote tho. :evil:

So you will have no right to critcise then whoever gets in.

As the slogan says;

'Use it, don't lose it.'

i agree, i am 48 and only voted once just after i was 18, a novelty i think, but i honestly think i wont matter, one mob is just as bad as the rest, lie while campaigning then do what they want when they get in, when i started (or soon after) work the tories were in according to everyone the country was ruined, labour got back in but over the years have they fixed things (or is their excuse that they were so bad they are still fixing) they are all just a bunch of liars
 
Sponsored Links
Back
Top