> Subject: As heard in the American Courts...
> Subject: Real Court Cases
>
>>
>> These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and
>> are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down
>> and now published by court reporters.
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
>> WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
>> _______________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
>> WITNESS: July 18th.
>> ATTORNEY: What year?
>> WITNESS: Every year.
>> _____________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
>> WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks
>> ______________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at
>> all?
>> WITNESS: Yes.
>> ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
>> WITNESS: I forget.
>> ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you
>> forgot?
>> _____________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
>> WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
>> ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
>> WITNESS: Forty-five years.
>> _____________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that
>> morning?
>> WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
>> ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
>> WITNESS: My name is Susan.
>> ______________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in
>> voodoo?
>> WITNESS: We both do.
>> ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
>> WITNESS: We do.
>> ATTORNEY: You do?
>> WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
>> ______________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
>> sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
>> WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
>> ____________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?
>>
>> WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
>> ________________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
>> WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
>> ______________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
>> WITNESS: Yes.
>> ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
>> WITNESS: Uh....
>> ______________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
>> WITNESS: Yes.
>> ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
>> WITNESS: None.
>> ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
>> ______________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
>> WITNESS: By death.
>> ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
>> ______________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
>> WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
>> ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
>> ______________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
>> deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
>> WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
>> ______________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on
>> dead people?
>> WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
>> ______________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you
>> go to?
>> WITNESS: Oral.
>> ______________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
>> WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
>> ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
>> WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was
>> doing an autopsy on him!
>> ____________________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
>> WITNESS: Huh?
>> ____________________________________________
>>
>> And the best for last
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check
>> for a pulse?
>> WITNESS: No.
>> ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
>> WITNESS: No.
>> ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
>> WITNESS: No.
>> ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when
>> you began the autopsy?
>> WITNESS: No.
>> ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
>> WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
>> ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive,
>> nevertheless?
>> WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
>> practicing law.
>
> Subject: Real Court Cases
>
>>
>> These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and
>> are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down
>> and now published by court reporters.
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
>> WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
>> _______________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
>> WITNESS: July 18th.
>> ATTORNEY: What year?
>> WITNESS: Every year.
>> _____________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
>> WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks
>> ______________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at
>> all?
>> WITNESS: Yes.
>> ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
>> WITNESS: I forget.
>> ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you
>> forgot?
>> _____________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
>> WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
>> ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
>> WITNESS: Forty-five years.
>> _____________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that
>> morning?
>> WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
>> ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
>> WITNESS: My name is Susan.
>> ______________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in
>> voodoo?
>> WITNESS: We both do.
>> ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
>> WITNESS: We do.
>> ATTORNEY: You do?
>> WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
>> ______________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
>> sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
>> WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
>> ____________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?
>>
>> WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
>> ________________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
>> WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
>> ______________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
>> WITNESS: Yes.
>> ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
>> WITNESS: Uh....
>> ______________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
>> WITNESS: Yes.
>> ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
>> WITNESS: None.
>> ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
>> ______________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
>> WITNESS: By death.
>> ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
>> ______________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
>> WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
>> ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
>> ______________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
>> deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
>> WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
>> ______________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on
>> dead people?
>> WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
>> ______________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you
>> go to?
>> WITNESS: Oral.
>> ______________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
>> WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
>> ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
>> WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was
>> doing an autopsy on him!
>> ____________________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
>> WITNESS: Huh?
>> ____________________________________________
>>
>> And the best for last
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check
>> for a pulse?
>> WITNESS: No.
>> ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
>> WITNESS: No.
>> ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
>> WITNESS: No.
>> ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when
>> you began the autopsy?
>> WITNESS: No.
>> ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
>> WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
>> ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive,
>> nevertheless?
>> WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
>> practicing law.
>
