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Banned from the co-op

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Johnmelad502, 29 Aug 2010.

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  1. Johnmelad502

    Johnmelad502

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    Yesterday I was at my local CO-OP buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

    What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

    (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

    Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit us both.

    I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

    I'm now banned from the Co-op.

    Better watch what you ask retired people.

    They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.


    Regards,
    John
     
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  3. Terry7556

    Terry7556

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    quality
     
  4. imamartian

    imamartian

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    great post geraint.... one where you say nothing !!! ;)

    oh i'm joking... nothing personal old fellow !! ;) ;)
     
  5. Johnmelad502

    Johnmelad502

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    He must be a mod, he deleted his post :?:
     
  6. geraint

    geraint

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    since you are retired.. just get on the bus....

    and as to the rest... how sad...
     
  7. imamartian

    imamartian

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    Jeez!!! i think you must be right !!!! :eek: Geraint ? a mod? i'm off!!!! :LOL: :LOL:
     
  8. Johnmelad502

    Johnmelad502

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    He often has a lot to say, shame it is mostly gibberish.
     
  9. geraint

    geraint

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    bandwaggon.... or very sad.. must live in someones skirt... your replies were far too quick...

    would not say clever... as they were not....
     
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  11. imamartian

    imamartian

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    always too quick for you Gezza!! ;)

    so how did you delete them?
     
  12. Johnmelad502

    Johnmelad502

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    Oh look, more gibberish. :rolleyes:
     
  13. geraint

    geraint

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    funny how you insult and then tell everyone on the forum that it is going downhill with all the insulting posts...
     
  14. Johnmelad502

    Johnmelad502

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    I never insuted you, I made a valid comment. :LOL:
     
  15. geraint

    geraint

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    that is an insult in many eyes....

    cannot say think...
     
  16. Johnmelad502

    Johnmelad502

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    Look, more gibberish. :rolleyes:
     
  17. imamartian

    imamartian

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    Gezza, i think it's time we all acted like grown ups and maybe called a truce? If we ... calmly.. and like adults, all agreed..... that you are an idiot, we can all go off in our own directions??

    No? not feeling it? well what if you go and stand in the corner, and shut your eyes, and start counting, and we'll shout 'ready' when you can come and find us?????

    ;)
     
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