i sadly lost my closet m8 over 2 years ago,im 42 now and we had been friends since infant school,now how many people can honestly say that losing a close friend doesnt hurt?
we could go weeks without seeing one another but we were always there for one another at a drop of a hat.,we were god parents to each others children and i was best man at his wedding,i was asked to be a pall bearer for him it was a honer to be asked to help him on his last journey. it is a massive hole that has been left,but it does get easier,you wont forget him,you just manage your thoughts in a different way so you can get on with your life,even now i go outside look to the sky and have have a chat so to speak.
after his death we used to get together for a drink every month with all his friends after about 1.5 years it stopped,we all felt we had done enough to remember him.we still meet up on his birthday for a drink to remember him.
dont cut your self off from his family,get back in touch with them,THEY WILL UNDERSTAND why you have been awol from there lives,people deal with grief in different ways.
and if you have no 1 to talk to just unload on here,im sure some b,ugger will shred you to pieces or even make you laugh?