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Dispute with builder

or give you the money for a new one but with an allowance for age/wear and tear of the original

A three-year old bench is not worth the same as a new one.

An insurance policy with "new for old" cover is a more expensive option than a simple indemnity (i.e. if you crash your 5-year old car, they give you the worth of a 5-year old car, not a new one.). If you took him to court you would only get the value of a second-hand bench, not a new one. If he offer to pay any extra, that's a bonus and a goodwill gesture.

But keep on at him, he needs to learn to respect other people's property.
 
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