divorce who's to blame

Joined
20 Jul 2007
Messages
1,515
Reaction score
0
Location
Cumbria
Country
United Kingdom
A family member who has only being married for 8 months, has found out her new husband is seeing a woman from work.

It now turns out he has being seeing this girl since before he married, and he has just carried on like he is single, the woman for her part knows he has just got wed, but committed adultery away.
He has now gone to live with her, but wants the wife to sell the house leaving his mrs homeless.

There are no kids involved , but they are up to there neck in a mortgags. and she cant afford to rent on her own , looks like it's tough for her, as he moves on and leaves the mess behind ,
Should there be a blame game and should they pay in law for there dirty deeds :confused:
what do the pannel think any :?:
 
Sponsored Links
You can't really legislate for the management of personal relationships no matter how much of a to55er either party has been.

She could take private legal action against him (if she can afford to).

So sad when this happens and it is all too common.

MW
 
megawatt, we are all trying to support her ,and have took legal councel but it does not look that good in the short term, while she was away on a short break ,he went to the police to help him gain access to the house and took all the electric goods ,the police stood by and watch him go through a window ( i jest you not :eek: ) did not bother to phone her or leave a note to say what they had done, when she phone the police to report a break in ,they then told her what had happen, and no crime had being commited :cry:
you could not make it up
 
I don't understand these things, but I've heard that each member of a married couple is entitled to move or alter the couple's property.

So she is equally entitled to take the goods off him, or to drive the car away, or to repaint the couple's car in for example pink emulsion.

I knew someone whose wife emptied the bank accounts, including the business account, before running off, having previously delayed payments of all trade invoices so there was more for her to take.

It's all very sad.

I hope she has taken legal advice by now.

She may want to dissociate herself from any debts he may run up in future and to prevent him emptying the bank account.
 
Sponsored Links
If the house is not in joint names, then she should get a Schedule D notice put on the deeds, to prevent it from being sold (haha in this climate) from under her.

Unfortunately, the only winners in this are the legal parasites. Far better, if possible, to agree between themselves, then go to solicitors and tell them to draw up a deal on that basis and not to go trying to negotiate a better deal.

I managed to do this with my own ex, even to the extent of getting her to agree to my paying her less through the court system so as to avoid her having to lose a percentage for her legal aid contribution, with the rest handed over as cash - relied on her trusting me, but the fact that she did was enough to make me ensure that I paid her every last penny that I said I would. Didn't cost me any more and she got more in her pocket - win win.

I hung onto the house and then sold it for more than the notional figure on which the settlement was based, so split the extra 50/50 with her; seemed the least I could do. We both wonder why we ever got divorced - and still, 23 years on, both think that in our dotage, we will end up back together. Awww :).
 
23 years on, both think that in our dotage, we will end up back together. Awww :).

Awww indeed.
Its good to a hear a sensible seperation, as so many are messy, and as you say, the lawyers usually win when this happens. Keeping things amicable can be difficult but its worth it in the long run.

The system is rigged to foster an atsmosphere of conflict.

However, I do know a couple who got their decri-nisi (sp?) through and then got back together!
 
shytalkz, nice story hope you do get back together if thats what you both want, but at the minute murder is more in her mind than talking, for her time will have to move on a bit slower, she struggling to deal with it now all is moving fast for him as he floats on the air of new love, but after all she was only married months and there is know real money in the house as yet for her nto try and move on :cry:
 
I fully understand that - we were in exactly the same position at the start of it all, it's very difficult to be rational when you're so raw. We would have cheerfully killed each other, if we could have. It was months before we could sit down and talk and sort things out.

Counting to ten, before doing or saying anything is hard, but achievable, with (much) effort. And, ultimately, you do feel much better with yourself for having shown some restraint.

At Addenbrooks, there is a big sign just inside the main entrance which says "This too shall pass". It was a source of great comfort and inspiration, all the way through dealing with the grandson's leukaemia; it's something that I haul forwards in my head when trying to deal with the ongoing daughter situation too.

It will pass, she will get sorted and will move on, it just seems insurmountable - and so unfair from her pov - at this time.
 
Sponsored Links
Back
Top