It is very rarely the domestic hot water heat exchanger, because the mains side is upto 10bar pressure, and the central heating side is upto 3bar, so normally mains water enters the heating, and not vice-versa. And I have had them go after 3 months, our water over here is completely different to Italian and continental water, which is the intended destination of these diverter valves. Consequently, the rubber they use is more easily persihed with our generally semi hard water, compared to the more continental softer water.
The boring bit
The diaphragms are nitrile rubber, which also contains carbon black, sort of a dye which is why they are black. As the coating on the rubber wears away, and the rubber becomes porous, so too does the carbon deposits in the rubber. The only place for the black carbon to go is out through your tap, in the form of black bits, or generally dies your water black.
Put some in a glass and you'll probably find there are bits floating about. Whilst it is in the glass, hold a magnet to the side of the glass, and this will either a) attract bits of iron filings (magnatite), thus proving your plate heat exchanger has pinholed in contrary to my earlier statement, or b) do nothing, thus it can only be the diaphragm
sorry for the spiel!!!