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Popped around mother's yesterday, and happened upon the local neighbourhood watch magazine (edited by b-i-l).

Had to chuckle at some of the reported crimes, and also their write-ups.

Burglary (domestic property): offender kicked panel of upvc front door, to gain entry. Left 3 x muddy footprints. No damage.

Various reports involving insecure cars, doors, and sheds.....

Best one that I immediately recall was the burglar who made of with 3 packets of digestive biscuits, and "a couple of plums". Whether the police report meant his accomplices or a bit of fruit, the prose did not make clear....
 
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