I remember you hooo !

[empip]

A 45 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"
God replied, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had her hair color changed and teeth brightened !
She figured she might as well make the most of the time remaining. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.
While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from the path of the ambulance?"







God laughed: " Sorry, I didn't recognize you."

 

[Richardp]

A woman in her 40's went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The Knob," where a small knob is placed on the back of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift. Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob." Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob and the effects were wonderful. The woman remained young looking and vibrant. After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems. "All of these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems: "First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them." The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those are your breasts." She sighed and said, "Well, I guess there's no point in asking about the goatee...."