kids' lessons..

[imamartian]

as a parent, should you encourage/push kids to do lessons in things? for example.... martial arts, keyboard, french, ballet?

or should you just accept what they say ... "dad i don't want to do table tennis lessons anymore"...?

surely when they're older, they'll appreciate being able to play the piano?

 

[libby lou lou]

Push into education, but leave it up to them after that, anything else is bullying.

 

[joinerjohn]

Some years ago, a mate was told his kid was slipping behind in IT. His kid was 4 yrs old and at nursery. !!!

Whatever you decide Martian. Please Please Please,,,, Don't push your kids to do anything they don't want to. If they want to play the piano or are at all musical,, then that's a gift they have (and should be nurtured, not pushed)
Never encourage your kids to take up any Martial Arts, unless your sure , you'll always be one step ahead of them (it will end in tears)

 

[imamartian]

Push into education, but leave it up to them after that, anything else is bullying.

that's one helluva comment.... lets take it a stage further, and force carrots on them... am i really being a bully

 

[imamartian]

Some years ago, a mate was told his kid was slipping behind in IT. His kid was 4 yrs old and at nursery. !!!

Whatever you decide Martian. Please Please Please,,,, Don't push your kids to do anything they don't want to. If they want to play the piano or are at all musical,, then that's a gift they have (and should be nurtured, not pushed)
Never encourage your kids to take up any Martial Arts, unless your sure , you'll always be one step ahead of them (it will end in tears)

your posts are normally un-erring... but i suspect this post is flawed... why not push a kid into gymnastics..? i'm only asking!!

 

[joinerjohn]

Why push your kids to do anything, sport, musical, intellectual wise? They will follow their own path.
A neighbour pushed his kid to do swimming. To be fair, the lad could have become a great swimmer (he won medals galore for his age), but once he reached his teens, all went out the window. The lad reached the conclusion, he wasn't swimming because he liked it, he was swimming because his dad wanted him to be famous.
When young, kids can be moulded/manipulated. but once they start growing older, they know what they want to do. It's not always what their parents want though, and you have to respect that.

You can try and nudge them in a certain direction when they are young, but ultimately, it's their choice what they want to pursue.

 

[MisterG]

I think it's fine to push them into trying something new, on the off chance they'll enjoy it, but if they don't then don't force them to do an activity they really don't like.

I think there are some exceptions, like school and sport.

Kids should do some kind of sport as it means they'll grow up healthier and team sports also help build social skills.

But they should have a say in which sport they want to do.

Cheers

G

 

[kirkgas]

i'm not comfortable with the phrase "push them" i have encouraged our 4 kids to try anything they want, and when they bore of it (usually 2 weeks after i have bought the full kit ) then they stop going i do encourage them to stick at something to try to overcome the difficult bit, as i dont like them giving up too easily when they hit a hard bit, but i wont force them to do anything as it becomes more about the parent than the kid, although as an example if one kid is going somewhere that the other isnt i dont allow him to say "i'm not going tonight as i want to keep playing the computer etc, i tell them they need commitment to whatever they are in as adults etc give up their time to train/teach/supervise and how would they feel if the instructor phooned to say its off tonight cause im watchin telly, they seem to agree and go and more importantly have a great time, maybe its because i have been mince at everything i have done i have never been a pushy dad to get my fame through them, i actually HATE parents who do this.

 

[libby lou lou]

Push into education, but leave it up to them after that, anything else is bullying.

that's one helluva comment.... lets take it a stage further, and force carrots on them... am i really being a bully

Education is the most important aspect in their lives at that age, offer them carrots by all means, but, if they don't eat them, hey, no big deal.

By the way, my grand kids eat all veg, some raw

 

[imamartian]

In hindsight, 'push' probably wasn't the best word to use, although the question was really "how much do you encourage them?". My kids have started a few things and then finished after a couple of weeks. But i would like them to start learning things now which will benfit them, or enhance their lives in some way in the future.

 

[libby lou lou]

Say sorry then

 

[gregers]

i try(when funds allow)to let my kids do as much as they can,and like most they will tire and get bored,i wish when i was growing up my parents had the money to allow me to have done a lot more things.and perhaps pushed me a bit more,lets face it hand on heart how many of us have thought if we all had done things a little different how our lives would be just a bit better.

 

[conny]

Sometimes a young child will try his/her hand at something and get bored/fail to achieve or whatever.
When that child is a teen they may decide to have another go and actually be quite successful at it.
I hated learning to swim when I was about 7 or 8. In my early teens most mates used to go regularly so I joined in. I eventually won numerous medals/cups/plaques etc and earned my bronze/silver and gold in life saving. I did it because I wasn't being 'forced' but because I wanted to and I enjoyed it more. I was never out the baths.

 

[joinerjohn]

Sometimes a young child will try his/her hand at something and get bored/fail to achieve or whatever.
When that child is a teen they may decide to have another go and actually be quite successful at it.
I hated learning to swim when I was about 7 or 8. In my early teens most mates used to go regularly so I joined in. I eventually won numerous medals/cups/plaques etc and earned my bronze/silver and gold in life saving. I did it because I wasn't being 'forced' but because I wanted to and I enjoyed it more. I was never out the baths.

Until my third year at secondary school, I just couldn't get the hang of maths. I was about middle of the class in yearly exams in maths. Then suddenly , in the early fourth year, I can only describe it as a light being switched on in my head and suddenly Maths became quite easy.
All without being pushed by anyone.

 

[crockett]

Sometimes a young child will try his/her hand at something and get bored/fail to achieve or whatever.
When that child is a teen they may decide to have another go and actually be quite successful at it.
I hated learning to swim when I was about 7 or 8. In my early teens most mates used to go regularly so I joined in. I eventually won numerous medals/cups/plaques etc and earned my bronze/silver and gold in life saving. I did it because I wasn't being 'forced' but because I wanted to and I enjoyed it more. I was never out the baths.

Until my third year at secondary school, I just couldn't get the hang of maths. I was about middle of the class in yearly exams in maths. Then suddenly , in the early fourth year, I can only describe it as a light being switched on in my head and suddenly Maths became quite easy.
All without being pushed by anyone.

I had a similar issue with maths at around that time in my life, but my epiphany was a change of teacher
Children should be encouraged to do some form of sport, and as for pushing them, if we didn't tell them to do their homework, which some of you would class as 'bullying' (a very overused word if there ever was one lately!) and just let them 'find their own path' then we would not have had half of the greatest intellects, doctors, authors, etc. Some are born with talent, some have to be pushed to bring that talent out.