Not quite a disaster yet - but geting there rapidly

[AnonymousImport]

In light of the previous post concerning wife and tiles, here is a sorry tale of woe.

Sister in law (SIL) mentions that she might buy a new kitchen, and I oferred (fool) to plumb in new sink and maybe move a socket or 2. A days work I think, and as I am in the area on business just before Christmas no problem.

Christmas comes and goes, no news so I assume that she has gone off the idea. 1st week of January I pop down to pick up the Christmas presents and am met with the fate accompli that the units are arriving 9th of Jan. And oh yes, can you plumb in the new gas hob (she has a free standing cooker at the moment).

Hmm. I smell a rat.

Go round to SIL and discover -

a) She hasn't really measured up properly, just taken a floor plan into Bodget & Scarpers shed for one of these fancy computer generated plans

b) The consumer unit, meter, and various other spurs and switches are wrapped round the wall under the cupboard next to the sink. This means the said cupboard has no back and the worktop has no battening. Oh yes, there is a 2 inch x 2 inch bit of conduit emerging from the worktop going through the roof

c) She hasn't thought about the power for the igniters on the new hob so another SFU is required

d) The ring main wiring is just lying on the floor in a heap beneath the cupboards. This applies to the whole kitchen

e) She has not costed in all the electrical and plumbing bits (Can't you just put the new sink in using the old ones ???) never mind blades, drill bits, trunking, silicon etc etc.

f) When I mention that it will cost her about £150 for the bits, never mind my time (which is free as I am brother in law) she almost bursts into tears and says "Well forget it then".

g) Point f above is obviosly not going to happen as she already has ripped out the floor and half the kitchen

h) Being the kind and gentle soul I am I offer to order the bits which totals around £170 inc vat. Tell her she can pay me when she has got some cash together after the Christmas binge.

i) Order some extra tools for £100 (e.g a decent holesaw as I have killed my other one putting in Mother in Laws bathroom 2 years ago)

j) Wife then hits the roof as she feels I am being extravegant

k) Wife threatens divorce as I with all the tools, cabling, trunking etc in the car we have no room to bring back other stuff from Mother in Law's left there after our last visit

l) My one day job look like three ...

m) We happen to live 400 miles away from SIL.

I think I can see trouble ........

A soon to be divorced man.

 

[breezer]

sorry to here that. Now thats what i call a Disaster

 

[AnonymousImport]

run away

 

[AnonymousImport]

move in with sister-in-law...

 

[AnonymousImport]

Well now that the kit has arrived I phone SIL to find out if the hob can be installed using flexible pipe or if it requires a rigid steel one.

Of course, it requires a rigid steel one.

Some CORGI installer is going to have a quick job on Monday .... Just in time for the council to collect the old units and the cooker PM. Of course, everthing will be installed by then - after all with the two of us working on it and the three kids hapilly creating havoc with the fixing kits etc. all will go swimmimgly.

BTW,also found out that the stop valve for the hot water has seized, so I will be crawling in the loft with bits of string and a bit of batten to immobilise the float in the header tank even before I start.

And SIL doesn't have a torch as the kids just nick the batteries ...

I'll keep you all posted if I make it back.

Wife has decided not to divorce me - but I think our chances of expanding our familly will be severely limited in the coming months. SIL has no room in her house for me - the living room, dining room, hall and stairs and main bedroom are currently occupied by the kitchen stuff. If I literally move in with SIL, wife will no doubt perform a previously unheard of surgical procedure that involves a Screwfix hole cutter set, a large reel of 6mm T/E and the nice new sharp bolster hammer I ordered. I assume that was what the expression on her face meant .......

 

[Sam Gangee]

Some years ago I developed a very convenient back problem which doesn't show up on X-Rays but allows me to use the magic words "sorry, can't do it".

In more extreme cases I find the word "NO" works quite well.

There are more subtle ways of getting out of "favours" but I always say "no" first. You can always change your mind after "no" whereas "yes" gets engraved in stone.

Another ploy I use is to say "I'm not very good at that but I'll get John round to do it". John is a well-known walking disaster in our town - people have been known to swim the river in order to avoid having him offer to carry their bags. You probably know a "John" so make friends with him and offer his services generously. Anyone daft enough to employ him will never ask you again!