Remembering the unkind brevity of a school report

H

hotrod

There have been a a number of Letters to the editor in the Daily Telegraph recalling past school reports over the last week that have made me chuckle and evoked memories of my own schooldays. Quoted are a selection of the most memorable:-

Letters to the editor said:
SIR – My fourth son at Oundle: “Effortless progress, in every sense of the word.”
Michael Hollands
Albrighton, Shropshire



SIR – My vocabulary was increased by the sole word “Slothful” in my music report.
Bruce Everett
Alfriston, East Sussex



SIR – Art: “John gets himself so messy.”
John G. Prescott
Coulsdon, Surrey



SIR – A chemistry master’s report: “I believe he plays the oboe.”
Tim Scott
Cambridge



SIR – One of the earliest school reports that my wife received described her as “a chatterbox and a fidget-bottom”.
Nothing has changed in the intervening 60 years.
John Rieley
Lindfield, West Sussex



SIR – My history teacher wrote in my report (Letters, March 25): “When the workers of the world unite it would be presumptuous of Dewhurst to include himself among their number.”
Simon Dewhurst
Malpas, Cheshire



SIR – My swimming report: “Stroke excellent – buoyancy nil.”
Chris Taylor
Hyde, Cheshire



SIR – My father’s geography report: “Leonard does well to find his way back home each day.”
Christine Davies
Worthing, West Sussex



SIR – My prep school maths report was brief and true: “Still easily baffled.”
Dominic Weston Smith
Faringdon, Oxfordshire



SIR – A Welsh doctor who was at school in Birkenhead told me his headmaster had written: “By educating this boy we are depriving some Welsh village of its idiot.”
Kevin Heneghan
St Helens, Merseyside



SIR – One of my son’s reports (Letters, March 24) ran: “The tropical forests are safe when John enters the woodwork room, for his projects are small and progress is slow.”
A. Roberta Jenner
Holywell, Flintshire



SIR – My brother’s once said: “Continues to amuse himself, but sadly no longer us.”
Rod Morris
Cheddar, Somerset



SIR – My English teacher wrote in my report for 1964: “The stick and carrot must be very much in evidence before this particular donkey decides to exert himself.”
James Wright
Codicote, Hertfordshire



SIR – One of my masters once reported: “French is a foreign language to Fowler.”
Roger Fowler
Shefford, Bedfordshire



SIR – On the verge of puberty, I was most encouraged to learn from my woodwork teacher’s report that “Halsall holds a hammer like a woman”.
Kenneth Halsall
Southport, Merseyside

I don't suppose that teachers today are allowed such 'freedom of expression'. :LOL:
 
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D

dextrous

:oops:

He told me that was 'our' secret.
He will only have told cardinal nazinger (or is is ratzinger) in the reichstag (or vatican) who will have told him to carry on, but next time to send pictures for his private archive.
 
N

namsag

In coming 33rd out of 34 in the french exam my report said a remarkably good result for the effort put in over the year.
 
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My End of year report circa 1968
Read
Biology " works hard on reproduction and Rugby "
all the other subject Masters just put "ditto"
Bastards.
 
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So how many at the last count do you know of icon_lol.gif

Sir I'll have you know I was very responsible, and nicked my dads Johnies which is probably why I ended up with 4 brothers. :D :D
 
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First Report: Jimmy is trying!





Second Report: Jimmy is still trying!!





Third Report: Jimmy is very trying!!
 
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My best one (which didn't go down too well at home)

"I think I only saw Richard once this term"
 
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My 3rd year history report:

"He has got a very encouraging exam mark - well into double figures."

(It was 18%)

My Housemaster:

"Simon finds it extremely hard to concentrate for more than a minute or two.......If only he would stop being silly with the older boys, he would mature much more quickly."

And my hardest (and only really serious) effort:

"A most pleasing mock exam result!"

(92% for AO level Human Biology)


Teachers really do make a difference!
 
D

dextrous

Best report i ever had was when I was in the upper 6th. My PE comment waxed lyrical about "an excellent terms progress" etc etc. Trouble is, I never attended any PE lessons since I was doing 'S'-level further maths additional classes.

The teacher concerned, who obviously didn't know me (it was a huge school of about 600 kids and I'd been there for 6+ years as had he, and he'd only "taught" me for three of those years prior to this), read my half decent report and decided he wanted a "piece of the action" and claim some credit :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
 
J

joinerjohn

A friend of mine brough home a school report in which one teacher had written " I cannot comment on Kelvin's schoolwork, as I have yet to see him do any."
 
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