School Answering Machine

24 Oct 2006
Reaction score
United Kingdom
This is hilarious - no wonder some people were offended! This is the message that the Maroochydore High School Queensland , staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine .. This is the actual answering machine message for the school. This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades - even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough school work to pass their classes.

The outgoing message:

Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:

To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1

To make excuses for why your child did not do his work - Press 2

To complain about what we do - Press 3

To swear at staff members - Press 4

To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and
several flyers mailed to you - Press 5

If you want us to raise your child - Press 6

If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7

To request another teacher, for the third time this year - Press 8

To complain about bus transportation - Press 9

To complain about school lunches - Press 0

If you realize this is the real world and your child must be Accountable and responsible for his/her own behaviour, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!

If you want this in another language, move to a country that speaks it.
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conny";p="1649930 said:
Hoggy, sorry mate but you really should check your 'urban myths' before posting things like this.
As funny as they may seem, it seems all is not as it seems, if you get my drift. ;)

sorry mate but I cant go around checking eveything that I post, if its true or its been posted before etc etc.
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No probs mate, even if they are not true they always manage to raise my spirits. ;)
My dad and my sister are always sending me these e-mails about the latest virus that's going to destroy sector 0 on the HDD and render your computer useless/ blow it up/start WW3/ cause a reactor meltdown in the USSR etc.
I always check them out on Snopes. Usually the e-mails my dad sends are the crap ones that no one in their right mind would believe anyway.

I think the last warning he sent me said something like "If you open the attachment called xxxxxxxx, your computer will connect to US Govt computers in Area 51. Your IP will be traced and you will go missing without trace. :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Yeah Right. ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)
JOHN!!!, JOHN!!!!


Seems to have disappeared. ;)
I used to repair stuff for Asda (Walmart), in the UK, and we had to ring a US tech support for help, so obviously ringing them in the morning they were all in bed.

So the tech support line went press 1 for US support, 2 for external, 3 etc etc...

And when, in one menu line it went, press 7 to hear a cow moo...and if you pressed it, you heard a cow moo ! Press 8 to hear a cock did.

Hilarious. No web source. straight from the horses mouth! So no reason to doubt the OP.
JOHN!!!, JOHN!!!!


Seems to have disappeared. ;)

Yes Just back Connie. Clicked the link my dad sent me. Within half an hour, Marine 1 landed in my garden and I was whisked away to somewhere in the Nevada Desert near Groom Lake.
I managed to escape with some help from friendly extra terrestrials. Taken to their home planet, given a slap up meal then brought back here in time for tea. !!!. Due to the fact that they have a FTL drive on their spacecraft I got back just before I clicked the link and so didn't click the link. So it never really happened............... Or did it???
;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)
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