Sound advice for the Chancellor (cheap fix)

[Johnmelad]

Dear Mr. Darling,

Please find below my suggestion for fixing Britain 's economy. Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 20 million people over 50 in the work force. - Pay them £1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire. Twenty million job openings - Unemployment fixed .

2) They MUST buy a new British CAR. Twenty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed .

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed .

4) They must send their kids to school / college /university - Crime rate fixed

5) Buy £50 of alcohol / tobacco a week there's your money back in duty / tax etc

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed , have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

 

[r.bartlett]

I can just imagine Charles Morgans' face when an order for 20m cars is faxed through

 

[Shytalkz]

And it's probably way less than has been bunged in/QEd as well. Plus, I qualify for that

 

[kevindgas]

Dear Mr. Darling,

Please find below my suggestion for fixing Britain 's economy.

RESIGN!!

It can't get any easier than that!

 

[dextrous]

They must use private health care - 20million off the NHS lists.

Finally, when they die, they must donate the residue to MP's expenses fund!

 

[bengasman]

Couple of small problems with that.

It would cost 20 trillion, or 20,000 billion if you prefer.

There aren't enough tvr's or black cabs, which are the only british cars left. And I wouldn't want to drive either, as they are shyte.

The so called housing crisis is not about finding housing for working people, but to find housing for the millions that are here abusing the system; teenage mums on the dole, illegal immigrants, so called refugees, junkies, drunks, and professional criminals. Not a whole lot of those in the category of working over 50's.

Children are already obliged to go to school, so that would not change much.

If you make the NHS obsolete, you have another 2 million people on the dole; which incidentally is about the same as the current official number.

The majority of crime is drugs related and irrespective of any money those criminals get, they will continue their gang cultures.

Apart from that, it is not a bad idea.

 

[Blasphemous]

Sack ALL MP's and start again with Sharia law for ALL new MP's. You steal, you lose a hand!

 

[bengasman]

Sack ALL MP's and start again with Sharia law for ALL new MP's. You steal, you lose a hand!

But some would try to get double disability pay for having one hand and one eye.

 

[oompah]

Do away with parliament reinstate the monarchy as absolute ruler then we will only have one person to blame not a cart load of asso's.

 

[Blasphemous]

Sack ALL MP's and start again with Sharia law for ALL new MP's. You steal, you lose a hand!

But some would try to get double disability pay for having one hand and one eye.

Never thought of that... must be too honest. I'll not make it into government then!

 

[bengasman]

Sack ALL MP's and start again with Sharia law for ALL new MP's. You steal, you lose a hand!

Just realised something.
This government has used retrospective legislation to get more money out of us.
So why reserve the sharia law only for new mp's?

 

[Blasphemous]

Sack ALL MP's and start again with Sharia law for ALL new MP's. You steal, you lose a hand!

Just realised something.
This government has used retrospective legislation to get more money out of us.
So why reserve the sharia law only for new mp's?

Mmmm, sounds good to me. I've got a REALLY blunt knife in the garage... any good?

 

[yme]

I thought this was going to recommend affordable drugs for our Alister.

 

[Blasphemous]

I thought this was going to recommend affordable drugs for our Alister.

STAY OFF ANY DRUGS!

 

[bengasman]

Brown and darling are already on drugs, and I reckon it must be some really strong stuff. I heard a junky babble on the other day who was high as a kite, and he made a lot more sense than those 2.