Teachers

[securespark]

My son asked me what was the funniest nickname I ever had for a teacher.

I thought for a minute, then replied:

"D-Day."

He didn't find this funny until I explained.

This guy used to teach me English.

He had a horrendous temper and when he felt like it (which was most of the time) he would chuck anything he could get his hands on, in your direction. You name it, it flew! Chalk, board rubbers, books, rulers, even furniture.

We had the old wooden desks with flip-up lids and we used to resort to lifting these up to deflect and avoid the barrage of missiles.

Unfortunate if you were not the target but were hit by a ricocheting object...

Of course it was like being on the battlefield in WWII.

But the funniest thing was......the guy's name.


David Day.


Do you have any funny stories about teachers and their nicknames?

 

[Mickymoody]

I had a teacher like that, that was an ace at chucking chalk and blackboard cleaners, and recall the lift up lid tables that we had..

Don't recall specific nicknames for anyone apart from Gorilla, Maths/part time PE teacher, because he was really hairy..or another called Perv, (I know not origional, we were kids!), as he used to stand by the entrance to the communal showers, making sure everyone entered without a towel, and had a good washdown, before walking out the showers, through several layers of mud on the floor, to dress.

The teachers were always referred to as Sir, even the female teachers, as they often had larger moustaches than the men.

 

[hotrod]

God there are so many.

Mekon - RE teacher about 80 years old complete bald bar a thin snow white whispy monk cut but still resembled the cartoon character.

Versipellis - Latin teacher, used to go jogging at lunchtime in a tight fitting vest and skimpy shorts he was matted in thick body hair!

Tripod - I'll get edited if I elaborate on that one, but use your imagination.

 

[maltaron]

HARPIC - He was clean round the bend

 

[stevebamford]

Miss Mountains - I'll leave that to your imagination !

 

[wreckedit]

We called him Parrot because of his konk but I never did appreciate what he did for me. He was a very enthusiastic history and games teacher. He coached me in to the Berkshire County and Southern England rugby team.
We also had our phsyco's who in time got removed. Wish I knew then what I know now because some of the beatings that were given were out of order.
Another one I liked, used to go rock climbing on Old Harry's rock near Swanage, until he fell in and drowned.
I got kicked out of class for dropping a stink bomb. I was stood outside the door, creased up, wondering why it wasn't the other way round.

 

[merlin50]

our PE teacher should have been called pedo

 

[Mickymoody]

our PE teacher should have been called pedo

You can see the difference between the Public, and Comprehensive school boys, can't you?

Ooh my highlight was being bummed by Cameron.young fellow.. (not true!)

 

[ladylola]

We were perhaps a little uninventive at our school, it was common names like Woody for mr Wood (the metal work teacher) or Greeny for mr Green the English teacher.
Best we had was a mr Forsyth who was a monotone and very dull english teacher who was dubbed mr fosdrip, and a woodwork teacher called Weaver who ended up as Bo weavel for some reason.
On a vaguely related note we had a headmaster who would wear his cape and come into assembly down the stairs with it billowing behind him completely (I think) oblivious to the humming of "batman" coming from us kids.
And then there was a mr Cox who was eventually arrested for an act of indecenty ( I'd like to put a shocked face here but they aren't coming up on my computer today, which all relates to the topic slowwww)

 

[freddiemercurystwin]

We had a teacher called Mr Bates who was naturally known as Master bates!

 

[LastMagicBean]

mr Cox who was eventually arrested for an act of indecenty

There's a joke there somewhere.

 

[studips]

Bender Bacon (when applying the slipper - longest slipper you've ever seen)

when that didn't work he would throw the slipper away and use his hand - with half curled fingers.......

oh, and when he really lost it, his false teeth would come adrift and jam up his mouth - now that was funny.....

Mr. Wood - Woody

we were so pleased when Skinner retired........

and so dissappointed at the first assembly of the next year when a jubilant head master announced that mr. skinner had agreed to stay on for a couple more years to teach french....... not a nice man at all

 

[noseall]

We had a Mr Hunt that we called Isaac

 

[nelsy]

We had a Miss Pratt who was a bit of a ....

 

[RedHerring2]

We had a deputy head who had a penchant for adjusting kids ties, by going up the short trouser legs!
Obviously we called him 'Daddy Homo". Sorry to all the gay society but he really was verging on the pedo limit.

Anyway, one day, one of the lads was late into class 'cos he'd been to see the Deputy Head.
Teacher asked him where he'd been. He said, "I've been to see Daddy homoooooooooooo.........., the Deputy Head, Sir.

Needless to say, the rest of us were guffawing into our desktops.