THE BRIDGE

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THE BRIDGE


A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, 'because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'

God replied, 'Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'God, I wish that I, and all men, could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.
God replied: 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge...?"
 
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Thee nuns are killed in a terrible car crash and find themselves at the gates of Heaven. St Peter consults his big book and announces that there's no room in Heaven and in any case they were killed prematurely so he has no choice but to send them back. Since their mortal bodies were so mangled in the crash they will have to choose somebody else's body.

"I'd like to go back as the Queen Mother" says the first nun, "she was so wonderful and she gave so many people such pleasure!"

"I'd like to go back as Marilyn Monroe" says the second, "she was so beautiful and she was adored by everybody!"

"I'd like to go back as Zara Pipilinnie" says the third. Everybody looks blank so she fishes in her robes and pulls out a faded old newspaper cutting, which she hands to St Peter. It reads:

"Sahara Pipeline Laid by 2000 Men in Three Months".
 
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