Read these in the telegraph today. He still makes me laugh.
I'm on a whisky diet, I've lost three days already.
A dyslectic walks into a bra.
This blonde woman suspected her husband of cheating on her so bought a gun. Coming home one day she finds him in bed with the other woman. She confronts him with the gun pointed at her own head. Husband 'Please, please stop don't do it'. She 'Oh, shut up you're next!'
The police arrested two lads today. One had been drinking battery acid and the other had been eating fireworks. Later, one was charged and the other was let off.
I'm on a whisky diet, I've lost three days already.
A dyslectic walks into a bra.
This blonde woman suspected her husband of cheating on her so bought a gun. Coming home one day she finds him in bed with the other woman. She confronts him with the gun pointed at her own head. Husband 'Please, please stop don't do it'. She 'Oh, shut up you're next!'
The police arrested two lads today. One had been drinking battery acid and the other had been eating fireworks. Later, one was charged and the other was let off.
