"I'm going fishing." = "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid and sit by the stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
"Can I help with dinner?" = "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"It would take too long to explain." = "I have absolutely no idea how it works."
"I was listening to you, it's just that I have things on my mind." = "I was wondering if that blonde over there is wearing a bra."
"Take a break, dear, you're working too hard." = "I can't hear the football over the vacuum cleaner."
"That's interesting, dear." = "Are you still talking?"
"I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses." = "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing." = "And I sure hope I can think of some pretty soon."
"I can't find it." = It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless." (I confess that my first wife would tell you that I say that quite often.)
"I heard you." = "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."
"You look terrific." = "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."
"Can I help with dinner?" = "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"It would take too long to explain." = "I have absolutely no idea how it works."
"I was listening to you, it's just that I have things on my mind." = "I was wondering if that blonde over there is wearing a bra."
"Take a break, dear, you're working too hard." = "I can't hear the football over the vacuum cleaner."
"That's interesting, dear." = "Are you still talking?"
"I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses." = "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing." = "And I sure hope I can think of some pretty soon."
"I can't find it." = It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless." (I confess that my first wife would tell you that I say that quite often.)
"I heard you." = "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."
"You look terrific." = "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."
