Boris accused of breaking the law again


He had an affair with an 18-year-old runner

It’s all the rage. Rishi came out as chancellor of the exchequer in 2019 and everyone promised to stand by him, but it’s since emerged he was having an affair with a junior runner for 11 Downing Street and lied to Holly Willoughby about it. Sceptical? It’s all detailed in Boris’ daily WhatsApps to Holly, begging for nudes.

He caused Covid
The Sunak blind trust, where Rishi keeps all his investments and which he never asks questions about, saw the smart money was in Chinese biowarfare labs and went all in. Managers demanded proof it was a viable product in return. It went a bit wrong.

He worked closely with Boris Johnson

What could be more damaging, at this point, than for a politician to be revealed as working closely with Boris Johnson? To be his right-hand man throughout the pandemic while he said ‘let the bodies pile high’ and you kept quiet about it? That’s a resignation offence.

He shopped Boris Johnson

Though being exposed as the guy who took photos of Boris at Downing Street parties and leaked them to the press wouldn’t help either. Messages from Boris like ‘The photo was taken from your f**king balcony you ******’ and ‘I’ve got the police fining you for my birthday party, how do you like that, bitch?’ would not endear the PM to his party.

He drank the blood of children

The secret of Rishi’s boyish, youthful appearance? Snatching children off the streets, drinking their blood, harvesting their adrenochrome and chewing on handfuls of pineal glands while laughing maniacally and auctioning off the nation’s infrastructure to hostile foreign powers, would not surprise anyone at this point.

He doesn’t really believe in Brexit

Far worse than all the above, which the Daily Mail would be happy to overlook in return for him waving through Johnson’s honours list, is the reprehensible crime of not truly believing in Brexit. The mere existence of a WhatsApp in which Sunak admits that Brexit ‘is not really working out so far’ would destroy him. No wonder he’s suing his own inquiry.
 
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After four months of hearings, the official Covid inquiry reaches a week of hugely significant and potentially damning testimony, evidence that could shine a deeply unforgiving light on the inner workings of Boris Johnson’s government.

Among the witnesses are Dominic Cummings, Johnson’s former chief adviser, and Lee Cain, his ex-communications chief, plus a string of other senior aides and top civil servants of the time – several of whom first became known to the public because of illicit Covid parties.
These include Martin Reynolds, who was dubbed “Party Marty” after an email emerged showing he had invited more than 100 Downing Street staff to a “bring your own booze” event during the first lockdown.
Another is Helen MacNamara, the Johnson government’s head of ethics, who apologised for being fined over a lockdown-breaking staff leaving party in June 2020, for which she was said to have provided a karaoke machine.

The four days of hearings, which include testimony from other close Johnson aides as well as NHS and health department chiefs, could also prove damaging for Rishi Sunak, who was chancellor at the time and intimately involved in the decisions.

Home to Roost@the Guardian

That'll give de Piffle something to chat about on his new show.:giggle:
 
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