Catholic joke

[JBR]

A young Irish boy falls in love with a girl and takes her home to meet his family. The boy, his lady-friend and his family gather around the dining room table and his mother asks the girlfriend what she does.

The girl hesitates, then says, "I'm a prostitute."

The mother screams, faints and has to have water splashed in her face to bring her round. "Forgive me, my dear, but I don't think I heard you correctly. Did you say you were a prostitute?"

"Yes," says the girl.

The mother laughs and says, "Thank God. For a moment I thought you said you were a Protestant."

 

[handyjack]

A young Irish boy falls in love with a girl and takes her home to meet his family. The boy, his lady-friend and his family gather around the dining room table and his mother asks the girlfriend what she does.

The girl hesitates, then says, "I'm a prostitute."

The mother screams, faints and has to have water splashed in her face to bring her round. "Forgive me, my dear, but I don't think I heard you correctly. Did you say you were a prostitute?"

"Yes," says the girl.

The mother laughs and says, "Thank God. For a moment I thought you said you were a Protestant."

That was out of order, making jokes about religion is not allowed on this forum.

No, sorry, that rule only applies to one (can't mention it) religion.

 

[handyjack]

Lets test it:

Q: How does every Islamic joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.

 

[JBR]

A young Irish boy falls in love with a girl and takes her home to meet his family. The boy, his lady-friend and his family gather around the dining room table and his mother asks the girlfriend what she does.

The girl hesitates, then says, "I'm a prostitute."

The mother screams, faints and has to have water splashed in her face to bring her round. "Forgive me, my dear, but I don't think I heard you correctly. Did you say you were a prostitute?"

"Yes," says the girl.

The mother laughs and says, "Thank God. For a moment I thought you said you were a Protestant."

That was out of order, making jokes about religion is not allowed on this forum.

No, sorry, that rule only applies to one (can't mention it) religion.

You're right. I apologise unreservedly.
It was Catholicist.

 

[Newboy]

Q: How does a Muslim close the door?
A: Islams it.



A Catholic boy and an Islamic boy were talking and the Catholic boy said, "My priest knows more than your Allah." The Islamic boy said, "Of course he does, you tell him everything."

There you go - two major world religions in one joke

 

[Micilin]

I was going to post a joke about contraception, but I decided to withdraw it at the last moment.

 

[bernardgreen]

I was going to post a joke about contraception, but I decided to withdraw it at the last moment.

No problem any more. The Pope has agreed to the use of condoms provided they are blessed and made holy.

 

[Newboy]

I want to see the pope consecrating a condom!

 

[JBR]

Isn't it nice that we can joke about Catholics, and no-one complains.

Incidentally, once again DC is away today and no threads are locked! I see a pattern!

 

[noseall]

Incidentally, once again DC is away today and no threads are locked! I see a pattern!

Grow up!

 

[JBR]

You mean I opened this thread and scrolled all the way down just for THAT? I thought it might be something profound.

Good God.

 

[handyjack]

I was going to post a joke about contraception, but I decided to withdraw it at the last moment.

No problem any more. The Pope has agreed to the use of condoms provided they are blessed and made holy.

What's the point of a condom with holes in it?

 

[handyjack]

A train hits a bus load of Islamic school girls and they all perish. Eventually they are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past Allah.

Allah asks the first girl, "Aila, have you ever had any contact with a penis?
She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger.
Allah says, "Well, dip the tip of your finger in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."

Allah asks the next girl the same question, "Fadila have you ever had any contact with a penis?

The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well once I fondled and stroked one."

Allah says, "Then dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."

All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girl’s, one girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front of the line Allah says, "Jabeen! What seems to be the rush?"

The girl replies, "If I'm going to have to gargle with that Holy Water, I want to do it before Saba sticks her arse in it".