merlin50 said:
I have a bath every week if i need it or not.
I have two or three baths a week but that's only because I get to spend an hour in some nice warm water with a can of Carlsberg Special listening to Absolute Classic Rock.
The fact that I come out cleaner than I went in is purely incidental. So, to get back to the original post, it's pretty clear from the replies so far that we men are basically slobs - and I'm afraid I must include myself in that category since I haven't shaved for two days.
So what about the other side of the equation? It seems to me that you women have been hoodwinked by clever marketing into parting with shedloads of cash for so-called beauty products that aren't particularly effective and may even be detrimental.
Moisturiser: That's harmless enough I suppose as long as it isn't smelly or slimy. Theres nothing wrong with trying to make your skin feel softer but, unless theres a brand out there with pharmacological properties I don't know about, no moisturiser will give you the temperature rise that comes from increased blood flow or relax the tiny muscles in the dermis.
Exfoliation: No real problem here either unless it also includes hair removal, in which case it's wanton vandalism.
Your skin is your largest single piece of sexual equipment and those hairs serve a purpose which I shouldn't have to explain here. If the Borg queen (*) can work it out, so can you!
Makeup: Don't get me started. Too late --
Bella donna is so named because Roman women used it to dilate there pupils. Why?
Did it not occur to them that if they were really intent on attracting a mate those pupils would dilate by themselves? Moreover, dilating your pupils to order is a trick you can learn and, unlike atropine, it won't kill you. Show me the real thing and you'll have my full and undivided attention
- in fact my drool glands will not respond to anything less - but I've seen drug-induced dilation and it doesn't work. I didn't even notice until the owner of said pupils invited me to take a closer look - and it still didn't work.
Women these days are more inclined to fake the illusion of bigger eyes with face paint - which is equally ineffective but it brings me onto lipstick. Oh the dreaded words when she's going out -- "Got lippy on." So kissing is off the menu for the rest of the night.
And then there's perfume. Now I'm told that nature gave you the only scent you need.
Sadly my nostrils can't detect it, even at close quarters - and I do mean close - but they can detect the chemical stench that comes out of most perfume bottles. There are some smells I like: Musk oil, patchouli, leather, leaf mould, seaweed and tomato plants all come to mind but, with the possible exception of a hint of musk oil, I wouldn't want to find any of them on a woman.
I just know I'm flogging a dead horse here so let me pass on one tip: Next time you try out some perfume on your wrist, which I believe is the normal way to do it, don't just smell it;
taste it. Then think carefully about where you dab it because getting a mouthful is not a pleasant experience.
Fortunately she doesn't use deodorant. Rant over; I need a bath - and a shave.
(* Start Trek - First Contact)