do men bother?

[Space cat]

.....so of course ive primped and preened......exfoliated....moisturised....body scrubbed....and checked out the view in the mirror....

No, I doubt that many men would go to such lengths, any more than a peahen would spend hours preening her tail feathers. There's only so much we can do what what nature didn't really give us.

But there's more to this than biology. Might I suggest that you're overdoing it. I accept that few men will look twice at a woman who looks like she's been dragged through a hedge backwards, reeks of gin and tastes like a dirty ashtray. But exfoliating - moisturising - and don't even get me started on make-up!

Yes, everybody should wash and a sex goddess doesn't keep her breasts in a shapeless bag but there's a law of diminishing returns here. All you really need is what nature gave you.

 

[sooey]

After next week all you'll have to excite you is the desperate battle to stop the slide.
Torres is doing well I see, good move he made there.

 

[trollmaster2000]

A shower and a shave is all the pre-date grooming a man needs.
Any less than this is slobbish, any more and she will mistake you for a friend of Dorothy's.

Oh and fellas always make a tactical WC visit before dates, always.
becasue they don't want to approach a 'situation' with a 'loaded gun'

 

[Space cat]

Where did my post go? The moderation around here is getting out of hand. Let's try again --

A shower and a shave is all the pre-date grooming a man needs.

Thanks for the reminder; I forgot about shaving. Come to think of it, I regularly forget about shaving - as our other half will readily testify.

they don't want to approach a 'situation' with a 'loaded gun'

That rather depends on the date.

 

[Nige F]

I find it absolutely unbelievable that people don't trim their bods.

I`ve got hair where it`s needed naturally - not like a frigging macho hirsute gorilla with Bald Head

 

[Alarm]

The missus reckons it looks bigger!

Than next doors

 

[handyman77]

No biggr than hers!

 

[Alarm]

LOL

 

[gregers]

if a blokes got a chance of a promise,he should turn his y fronts inside out that way there clean.

 

[handyman77]

Skids are better on the inside!

 

[Diane2]

Skids are better on the inside!

eeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

leave em on the floor for the washing fairy to deal with!

 

[merlin50]

I have a bath every week if i need it or not.


we have three bath mats, the best one is hers the second best is the ferrets the one with the hole in is mine, I said I would put mine in the bin and use the ferrets and she said no way was i going to use there mat

 

[Space cat]

I have a bath every week if i need it or not.

I have two or three baths a week but that's only because I get to spend an hour in some nice warm water with a can of Carlsberg Special listening to Absolute Classic Rock. The fact that I come out cleaner than I went in is purely incidental. So, to get back to the original post, it's pretty clear from the replies so far that we men are basically slobs - and I'm afraid I must include myself in that category since I haven't shaved for two days.

So what about the other side of the equation? It seems to me that you women have been hoodwinked by clever marketing into parting with shedloads of cash for so-called beauty products that aren't particularly effective and may even be detrimental.

Moisturiser: That's harmless enough I suppose as long as it isn't smelly or slimy. Theres nothing wrong with trying to make your skin feel softer but, unless theres a brand out there with pharmacological properties I don't know about, no moisturiser will give you the temperature rise that comes from increased blood flow or relax the tiny muscles in the dermis.

Exfoliation: No real problem here either unless it also includes hair removal, in which case it's wanton vandalism. Your skin is your largest single piece of sexual equipment and those hairs serve a purpose which I shouldn't have to explain here. If the Borg queen (*) can work it out, so can you!

Makeup: Don't get me started. Too late --

Bella donna is so named because Roman women used it to dilate there pupils. Why? Did it not occur to them that if they were really intent on attracting a mate those pupils would dilate by themselves? Moreover, dilating your pupils to order is a trick you can learn and, unlike atropine, it won't kill you. Show me the real thing and you'll have my full and undivided attention - in fact my drool glands will not respond to anything less - but I've seen drug-induced dilation and it doesn't work. I didn't even notice until the owner of said pupils invited me to take a closer look - and it still didn't work.

Women these days are more inclined to fake the illusion of bigger eyes with face paint - which is equally ineffective but it brings me onto lipstick. Oh the dreaded words when she's going out -- "Got lippy on." So kissing is off the menu for the rest of the night.

And then there's perfume. Now I'm told that nature gave you the only scent you need. Sadly my nostrils can't detect it, even at close quarters - and I do mean close - but they can detect the chemical stench that comes out of most perfume bottles. There are some smells I like: Musk oil, patchouli, leather, leaf mould, seaweed and tomato plants all come to mind but, with the possible exception of a hint of musk oil, I wouldn't want to find any of them on a woman.

I just know I'm flogging a dead horse here so let me pass on one tip: Next time you try out some perfume on your wrist, which I believe is the normal way to do it, don't just smell it; taste it. Then think carefully about where you dab it because getting a mouthful is not a pleasant experience. Fortunately she doesn't use deodorant. Rant over; I need a bath - and a shave.

(* Start Trek - First Contact)