Failing Train Operator to be Privatised

[SirGalahad]

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TransPennine Express, which runs trains in northern England and parts of Scotland, has become the fourth railway service to be nationalised by the UK government in just five years. Ministers stepped in to seize control of the struggling operator, owned by UK-listed FirstGroup, after months of cancelled trains and poor performance.

 

[JohnD]

Privatised

Deprivatised.

 

[SirGalahad]

Deprivatised.

Privatisation of the railways has not failed, we simply have not had enough privatisation. I am using Rees Mogg logic, Brexit isn't a failure as we are using too short a timespan to judge it.

Bait and switch and then deflect and deny - it works.

 

[johnny2007]

And people moan when they go on strike.

 

[fillyboy]

'Supposedly hard Northerners can't handle a few cancelled trains?' sneers TransPennine Express

BOSSES at TransPennine Express thought it would take more than a few cancellations to trigger Northerners, who have turned out to be soft as ****e, they have revealed.

www.thedailymash.co.uk

'Supposedly hard Northerners can't handle a few cancelled trains?' sneers TransPennine Express​

11th May 2023

BOSSES at TransPennine Express thought it would take more than a few cancellations to trigger Northerners, who have turned out to be soft as ****e, they have revealed.

The outgoing rail operator was under the impression that people up North were made of sterner stuff and would not be fazed by problems as minor as multiple-hour delays, ****-poor service and no trains at all.

A company spokesperson said: “We only cancelled trains on an hourly basis because we thought you were tough enough to take it. Clearly we were wrong and you’re all a bunch of pussies.

“What did you want us to do? Arrive on time, serve you with a smile, and not treat you like **** on our shoes? So much for bluff Northerners who’ll **** you for looking at their pie.


“Cancelling trains was meant to put hairs on your chests, and God knows you need them. I’d tell you to man up, grow a pair and get over it but that’ll probably make you cry. Boo hoo hoo. That’s you.

“You’re not going to like this, but Southerners are hard as nails compared to you. Avanti is sadistically tormenting customers every single day but they keep dusting themselves off and coming back for more. It’s impressive how much punishment they can take.

“Anyway, enjoy the government running the show, snowflakes. I’m sure they’ll make it vaguely work until the next election then leave you with one train a day from ****ville to Bumhole which is cancelled anyway.”

 

[gas112]

I bet this news has left a few of you well chuffed

 

[JohnD]

I could have sworn I heard the government promise to build new and better railways in the North of England.

How's that coming on?

 

[diy_fun_uk]

I could have sworn I heard the government promise to build new and better railways in the North of England.

How's that coming on?

This comes back to what I said in another thread. It would be very interesting to see how many manifesto and in-government pledges have been seen through to near completion or completion over the past 50 years.

 

[Mottie]

It would be very interesting to see how many manifesto and in-government pledges have been seen through to near completion or completion over the past 50 years.

I can think of one.

 

[JohnD]

Was it written on a bus?

 

[Brigadier]

I could have sworn I heard the government promise to build new and better railways in the North of England.

How's that coming on?

Stymied by having to (not) deal with hordes of people in boats.

They'd have delivered otherwise. Honest.

 

[Deleted member 18243]

Q: How much better at running trains will our Government be than a train company, given that our Government cannot run anything else properly?

 

[noseall]

This comes back to what I said in another thread. It would be very interesting to see how many manifesto and in-government pledges have been seen through to near completion or completion over the past 50 years.

You mean like dozens of new hospitals or thousands of new nurses or thousands of new police etc.

Translates to re-decorate 200 yr old asylums - bring some old matrons out of retirement - ignore the attrition/drop-outs regards recruitment figures so that it looks like we have loads more police.

 

[noseall]

Q: How much better at running trains will our Government be than a train company, given that our Government cannot run anything else properly?

You mean like when banks are bailed out (nationalised)?

 

[Deleted member 18243]

You mean like when banks are bailed out (nationalised)?

I see what you mean... they are just going to print a load of money again!

I can't wait to hear what they call it this time though, because most of us have cottoned on to "Quantitative Easing".