few jokes

[HOGGY952]

A little girl walks into her parents bedroom.
"holy **** !" she screams to her mother , "and YOU want ME to see a doctor about sucking my thumb...........?

I couldn't stop farting in bed last night, to the point where my Jewish girlfriend had enough and kicked me out to sleep on the couch. "Oh come on", I pleaded, "a bit of gas never hurt anyone". Apparently now I'm insensitive as well.

I dropped a box of maltesers at a weight watchers meeting last night. It was like watching a live game of Hungry Hippos!

 

[libby lou lou]

That last one was brill LOL

 

[Mickymoody]

Not bad, a little off in the middle...east...

A couple of nuns saw a streaker run across the square, one had a stroke, but the other wasn't quick enough..

A bloke cruises upto a prostitute, and asks how much £20 she says as I'm on my menstrual cycle...he says fekk that, just put it in the boot, you can ride back...

A Japanese party come over for a golf game, but the night before the game Japanese woman gets friendly with a UK player. The Japenese woman is screaming out "Yai Tai" "Yai Tai"!!!! so the Englishman goes harder...

Next day, while playing golf, with his Japanese counterparts, his opponent gets a hole in one, so the English guy shouts out - Yai Tai! Yai Tai!...

To which his counterpart states...what do you mean "Wrong hole?"...