Two dyslexics in a car.
One says "Can you smell petrol"
Other says "P*ss off. I can't even smell my own name"
One says "Can you smell petrol"
Other says "P*ss off. I can't even smell my own name"
Joke of the Day - Tuesday 16th Dec.
- Thread starter Blasphemous
- Start date
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guy is driving down a country lane when all of a sudden he is overtaken by a turkey doing about 50
so the guy puts the pedal down and follows it to a farm
gets out of his truck and says to the farmer
h*ll them things can move
farmer replies they are a special breed with 3 legs
i like a leg the wife likes a leg and the son likes a leg so we bred them special
guy says what do they taste like
farmer replies
dunno never been able to catch one
so the guy puts the pedal down and follows it to a farm
gets out of his truck and says to the farmer
h*ll them things can move
farmer replies they are a special breed with 3 legs
i like a leg the wife likes a leg and the son likes a leg so we bred them special
guy says what do they taste like
farmer replies
dunno never been able to catch one
N
namsag
At this time of giving and being merry just remember a doggie is just not for christmas.
Its actually a good position all the year around
Its actually a good position all the year around
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Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors.
Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in.
One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!," he shouted in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. "OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.
As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted "STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?" Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said "On your way, Ma'am."
As Ethel neared the final corridor, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, Butt- Naked, and holding his "You-Know- What" in his hand. "Oh, good grief," yelled Ethel, "Not that Damn Breathalyzer Test again..!!!"
Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in.
One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!," he shouted in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. "OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.
As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted "STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?" Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said "On your way, Ma'am."
As Ethel neared the final corridor, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, Butt- Naked, and holding his "You-Know- What" in his hand. "Oh, good grief," yelled Ethel, "Not that Damn Breathalyzer Test again..!!!"
N
namsag
Young newly wed couple turn up at the hotel for the wedding night.
Receptionist asks "Do you have any reservations"
Bride thinks for a minute and replies" I am not to sure of taking it up the a##e
Receptionist asks "Do you have any reservations"
Bride thinks for a minute and replies" I am not to sure of taking it up the a##e
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