Moaning neighbour

[malcolmX]

saw my next door neighbour this morning and she was moaning as usual, she said that the smoke from my woodburner which is in my workshop was getting through her bedroom window and penetrating her knicker drawer and making her knickers smell of woodsmoke, I said that she should be so lucky, I was using oak logs and you can pay a fortune for kippers smoked in oak chips.

 

[PrenticeBoyofDerry]

It's the kipper smelling knickers that worry me!
She has a cheek blaming your log, when it's sounds like it's her fadge, that's causing the problem!

 

[malcolmX]

A couple of years ago she grassed me up to the council for not having permission to store my helicopter in my workshop.

 

[PrenticeBoyofDerry]

Is that a no no, I thought we could put our aircraft where ever we pleased!

 

[malcolmX]

I used to use it for going out on jobs but it was no good for tying ladders on top though, her next door grassed me up when I was going out on a night time call to a burst, she said the downdraught from the roters blew her chimney pots off, the liar, had to sell it and lost money on it.
I next bought a surplus fire engine which was dead handy for gutters with the telescopic ladders, bit heavy on juice though.

 

[Deluks]

It would seem that Malc has been possessed by the spirit of Bob Dole.

 

[LastMagicBean]

her next door grassed me up when I was going out on a night time call to a burst, she said the downdraught from the roters blew her chimney pots off

Love it.

Reminds me of a bloke used to drink in our local pub.
Flew helicopters when working as a mercenary in Africa, killed 735 men with his bare hands in the space of a week !
"bloody rough week that was"

Anyway he couldn't stay for another drink .... He had to be up early the next morning as he was starting his submarine captains course !


All true. We loved it.

 

[Beerlover]

Reminds me of a bloke used to drink in our local pub.

I think he's in London now, Last week it got unbearable so told him to p*ss off!

Bit scared now - he's coming back to shoot me with his triple barrelled shotgun

 

[TonyV]

was a full moon last night

 

[malcolmX]

You can't beat the bull s******* who live in a Walter Mitty world can you?
When I was an apprentice I worked with a guy who said he was in the SAS he kept saying to me, try and sneak up on me and I will use my jungle training to suss you out, he didn't think it was funny when i put a mangy dead cat in his lunch bag LOL when all came to all he spent his days in the army in the cookhouse.

 

[malcolmX]

I worked a lot of years on my own but always missed having the crack with the lads on site, some of the goings on were fierce especially whenever we were doing repair work on peoples houses, how we got away with it was unbelievable and some of the guys I worked with were real charactors, probably all dead now.

 

[Alison556]

The local bus company here changed the route of one of the buses - a woman wrote in complaining that she liked to walk around the house naked and now she couldn't do that because there was a bus running past her house.

Bet ya that bus was full every morning!!!!

 

[nickso]

The local bus company here changed the route of one of the buses - a woman wrote in complaining that she liked to walk around the house naked and now she couldn't do that because there was a bus running past her house.

Bet ya that bus was full every morning!!!!

depends on her looks

 

[PrenticeBoyofDerry]

was a full moon last night

I think malcx is howlin' mad!
He could injury himself or someone else!
He needs medication or a silver bullet, sharpish!

 

[PrenticeBoyofDerry]

The local bus company here changed the route of one of the buses - a woman wrote in complaining that she liked to walk around the house naked and now she couldn't do that because there was a bus running past her house.

Bet ya that bus was full every morning!!!!

There was or there now is a bus passing her house?
Just trying to get a mental picture of what's going on!
If anyone has a proper picture(or vid), as in photo. I am willing to study the evidence!