Our neighbours are a constant source of amusement for us. Here are some excerpts:
Borrowed a DIY book and kept it for 6 weeks before I asked for it back.
Borrowed some decorating magazines because “they are too expensive to buy”.
Borrowed our lawnmower because “they are quite expensive and it’s too far to go to my Mum’s to borrow hers” (it is in fact 20 minutes drive). Kept for 30 minutes then returned saying “it won’t cut my long grass all the way”. It was also returned FULL. (Buy your own and keep your lawn trimmed!).
Borrowed a pair of shoes because “I’ve lost one of mine and we’re going out in a minute”.
Borrowed our fridge because “we’ve got people coming round and this trifle won’t fit in ours, can we put it in your American one?” (We’ve got an American one because we wanted one – so we took on a bit of extra work and saved up for it. Funny that).
Borrowed a gardening book – “to get some ideas”
Bottle of wine – “Can I have that half-bottle of wine I left at your BBQ yesterday, I’ve got friends round and the off-license is too far away”. The off-license is 5 minutes walk there and back, plus we supplied everything at the BBQ.
Borrowed one of my spirit levels – “We need to [not Can we] borrow your big one as X has only got a small one on his tape measure?”.
Borrowed a banana. I didn’t ask what it was for.
Borrowed an onion because “We’re making pasta and haven’t got an onion”. Well go without or plan your life better.
Borrowed one of my drills – kept for three days when I said I needed it back the next day (which I did) – borrowed because was “cheaper than buying one”. Well yeah. He has also said “Wow – you’ve all the tools!” YES THAT’S BECAUSE I HAVE BOUGHT THEM WITH MONEY THAT I HAVE EARNED.
All his borrowing has earned them the nickname “The Borrowers”. Once we got in from a long day out and within 5 minutes they were round asking for something. It was then we realised they were waiting for us and it had to stop. We manage excuses now.
On the way to Thai meal – “We’re going to be anti-social and split the bill as we haven’t got very much money, is that OK?”. We said OK. When the bill came: “Oh – we’ve had more than you, we might as well split it now”.
“Borrowed” “the internet” – “I’m looking for the ultimate holiday bargain”. Well get a computer of your own, then.
Once a £5 note fell out of my wallet in a pub and she said, “Oh look at it, it’s everywhere!”
“Can I come round and watch the match on your big TV?” (Their TV is 14” because “the big ones are too expensive”). He then bought round NO drinks.
We all went out once for an Indian meal and had quite a bit to drink. She mentioned (as she always does) that at university she had a lesbian relationship. She has also said she “could quite fancy” my wife. Fine by us. Anyway, she was saying everybody has a bit of bisexuality. I said not everyone, as I am 100% hetereo, and have never had an experience, but I would admit if I had and would admit it if I had a grey area, but I am quite comfortable with other people being that way. She said, “No, everyone has got a grey area. For instance, I wouldn’t mind it if when we went back you came round to ours and you and X started getting it on on the sofa.” Woh woh woh! You have obviously thought about this. I said “That’s never going to happen”. More scaringly X sat there and said nothing.
They both have reasonably well paid jobs (£21k and £18k – they have told us). A financial advisor went round and said the reason they never had any money was because they were saving too much.
Ehh, how I laugh (just about).
Borrowed a DIY book and kept it for 6 weeks before I asked for it back.
Borrowed some decorating magazines because “they are too expensive to buy”.
Borrowed our lawnmower because “they are quite expensive and it’s too far to go to my Mum’s to borrow hers” (it is in fact 20 minutes drive). Kept for 30 minutes then returned saying “it won’t cut my long grass all the way”. It was also returned FULL. (Buy your own and keep your lawn trimmed!).
Borrowed a pair of shoes because “I’ve lost one of mine and we’re going out in a minute”.
Borrowed our fridge because “we’ve got people coming round and this trifle won’t fit in ours, can we put it in your American one?” (We’ve got an American one because we wanted one – so we took on a bit of extra work and saved up for it. Funny that).
Borrowed a gardening book – “to get some ideas”
Bottle of wine – “Can I have that half-bottle of wine I left at your BBQ yesterday, I’ve got friends round and the off-license is too far away”. The off-license is 5 minutes walk there and back, plus we supplied everything at the BBQ.
Borrowed one of my spirit levels – “We need to [not Can we] borrow your big one as X has only got a small one on his tape measure?”.
Borrowed a banana. I didn’t ask what it was for.
Borrowed an onion because “We’re making pasta and haven’t got an onion”. Well go without or plan your life better.
Borrowed one of my drills – kept for three days when I said I needed it back the next day (which I did) – borrowed because was “cheaper than buying one”. Well yeah. He has also said “Wow – you’ve all the tools!” YES THAT’S BECAUSE I HAVE BOUGHT THEM WITH MONEY THAT I HAVE EARNED.
All his borrowing has earned them the nickname “The Borrowers”. Once we got in from a long day out and within 5 minutes they were round asking for something. It was then we realised they were waiting for us and it had to stop. We manage excuses now.
On the way to Thai meal – “We’re going to be anti-social and split the bill as we haven’t got very much money, is that OK?”. We said OK. When the bill came: “Oh – we’ve had more than you, we might as well split it now”.
“Borrowed” “the internet” – “I’m looking for the ultimate holiday bargain”. Well get a computer of your own, then.
Once a £5 note fell out of my wallet in a pub and she said, “Oh look at it, it’s everywhere!”
“Can I come round and watch the match on your big TV?” (Their TV is 14” because “the big ones are too expensive”). He then bought round NO drinks.
We all went out once for an Indian meal and had quite a bit to drink. She mentioned (as she always does) that at university she had a lesbian relationship. She has also said she “could quite fancy” my wife. Fine by us. Anyway, she was saying everybody has a bit of bisexuality. I said not everyone, as I am 100% hetereo, and have never had an experience, but I would admit if I had and would admit it if I had a grey area, but I am quite comfortable with other people being that way. She said, “No, everyone has got a grey area. For instance, I wouldn’t mind it if when we went back you came round to ours and you and X started getting it on on the sofa.” Woh woh woh! You have obviously thought about this. I said “That’s never going to happen”. More scaringly X sat there and said nothing.
They both have reasonably well paid jobs (£21k and £18k – they have told us). A financial advisor went round and said the reason they never had any money was because they were saving too much.
Ehh, how I laugh (just about).
