Paranoia in Public Toilets

[notb665]

Hand Status: Clean
Thought: I need the loo
Open Door to public toilet.
Hand Status: Unknown
Finish in toilet.
Hand Status: Dirty
Turn tap on.
Tap Status: Dirty
Wash hands.
Hand Status: Clean
Turn tap off.
Hand Status: Dirty because the tap is.
Open Door.
Door status: Dirty because your hand is.

I would like to see Japanese-style public toilets where you don’t have to touch anything until you leave the room. Would you?

 

[ban-all-sheds]

I would like to see Japanese-style public toilets where you don’t have to touch anything until you leave the room. Would you?

Depends on the gender of the person providing the holding hand....

 

[markie]

I hate going to a toilet when i'm out on the drink, the bog seat is either broken/full of p#ss, or the door lock is not working or there's no bog paper or all of above,

 

[Steve]

I hate going to a toilet when i'm out on the drink, the bog seat is either broken/full of p#ss, or the door lock is not working or there's no bog paper or all of above,

you forgot, various human waste on the floor/walls/bog seat/ceiling, out of both ends of the human body, remains of drug use on the cistern top, NO bog roll dispenser.

The worst bit is the guy who sits at a table shouting "freshen up" offering all kinds of deodorants/fragrances/lollipops. He has a mop and other cleaning equipment. Why doesn't he use it?

And then i walk out of the cubicle full of **** and puke, and the next person thinks i have done it. I'm like "it wasn't me mate, honest"

 

[notb665]

And then i walk out of the cubicle full of s**t and puke, and the next person thinks i have done it. I'm like "it wasn't me mate, honest"

I don't believe you, you dirty bar-steward.

 

[scatmanjohn]

I hate going to a toilet when i'm out on the drink, the bog seat is either broken/full of p#ss, or the door lock is not working or there's no bog paper or all of above,

What? You actually go for a **** in a public/pub bog.

Errrrrrr!!!!!

I thought the cubicles were reserved for the Bolivian marching powder brigade these days.

 

[Steve]

And then i walk out of the cubicle full of s**t and puke, and the next person thinks i have done it. I'm like "it wasn't me mate, honest"

I don't believe you, you dirty bar-steward.

exactly.

 

[markie]

I hate going to a toilet when i'm out on the drink, the bog seat is either broken/full of p#ss, or the door lock is not working or there's no bog paper or all of above,

What? You actually go for a s**t in a public/pub bog.

Errrrrrr!!!!!

I thought the cubicles were reserved for the Bolivian marching powder brigade these days.

When you've got to go you've got to go,

 

[hermes]

you forgot, various human waste on the floor/walls/bog seat/ceiling, out of both ends of the human body, remains of drug use on the cistern top, NO bog roll dispenser.
"

Oh crafty, you go to all the best places.

 

[noodlz]

Reminds me of this time I was standing at the urinals at a service station on the M1. This guy was just standing at the next urinal to me with no arms. I ask him, "Are you okay?"

He says, "Would you mind pulling my c*ck out, pointing it while I pee and then give it a shake?"

I felt very awkward at having to do this but felt sorry for him so did as asked. As I was holding the guy's plonker I noticed it was covered with scabs and all kinds of nasty eruptions, I gave it a shake, put it back in and said "Do you mind if I ask what's wrong with your cock?"

At which the bloke pulls his arms out from under his coat and says, "Fook knows, but I'm not touching it!"

 

[securespark]

you forgot, various human waste on the floor/walls/bog seat/ceiling, out of both ends of the human body, remains of drug use on the cistern top, NO bog roll dispenser.
"

Oh crafty, you go to all the best places.

That's what the best toilets are like in Rotherham, eh, Crafty!!

 

[ninebob]

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=10285

I wasn't very good at this game. Maybe I have the wrong agenda...

 

[masona]

I would like to see Japanese-style public toilets where you don’t have to touch anything until you leave the room. Would you?

During my recent stay in hospital last week, anyone who visit me have to use Alcohol Hand Gel from the container which are everywhere before entering and leaving the room. A germ free hospital

 

[notb665]

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=10285

I wasn't very good at this game. Maybe I have the wrong agenda...

That game is funny. I made some choices on whether they were looking down or not.

What agenda might you have, ninebob?

 

[gcol]

I would imagine his agenda involves peeping.