Penguin ...

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A penguin takes his car to a mechanic because there is a funny noise coming from under the bonnet.

"Leave it with me," says the mechanic. "Come back in 20 minutes."

So, off goes the penguin.

It's a hot day, spotting an ice cream van, he buys himself a 99.
Now, penguins aren't very good at eating ice creams - the lack of oppposable thumbs makes it tricky.
By the time the penguin has finished his 99, he is completely covered in ice cream.
It is all over his beak and all over his flippers. Feeling a little sticky, he returns to the garage.

"Oh, hello," says the mechanic, wiping his hands on a cloth.

"Hello," replies the penguin. "Was it anything serious?"

"Not really, but it looks like you've blown a seal."

"Oh no, no, no!" says the penguin, wiping his mouth. "It's just ice
cream."

:D :D :D
 
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I must be improving......


I got that one! (see, Kev....I DO get jokes!!)

:LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
 
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Bloke with a colostomy goes into the hospital.

"I'd like to make a complaint about this" he says, pointing to it.

"What's wrong with it?"

"It's a bag of sh*t".......
 
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