Starter issues

No its fine the coil only needs power to produce a magnetic field to close the contacts.
So if the current flows in from the positive on the battery through 85 instead of 86 it will still work.

The problems start if there are other things in the relay to protect the switch from arcing (burning out) as you open the contacts. If you look at your diagram again you will see a small rectangular box connected between 85 and 86? If its a diode you must connect as I suggested, If its just a resistor, you can connect whatever way you want.

Most cheaper relays don't have this protection fitted, makes life easier and these will work fine for your application. Local breaker might have one, to get you going, VW will be expensive?

Why is it there? Auto-electrician had one, so was a lot cheaper than genuine replacement, but that's just a guess.
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