The Haircut, Oh so true...

[Johnmelad502]

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies,

"I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week."

The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a "thank
you" card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill,
the barber again replies, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week."

The cop is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a "thank you"
card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he
tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies,

"I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week."

The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a "thank you"
card and a dozen different books, such as "How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming More Successful."

Then, a Member of Parliament comes in for a haircut , and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community ser vice this week."

The Member of Parliament is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen
Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the
citizens of this country and our Members of Parliament.

VOTE CAREFULLY!

 

[ColJack]

posted about two months ago...

 

[Johnmelad502]

posted about a month and a half ago...

Abject apologies, no joke must ever be repeated more than once. Next time I will search the forum going back twelve months (just in case) before telling a joke I have heard for the first time.

 

[WDIK]

two trainee doctors on a street corner.
both observe a guy exit the pub across the road, walking like a crab.
the doctors decide to do a pop diagnosis...
doctor, I would say that man has a severe case of Hemorroides..
they both concur.

guy wanders across the road.

doctors approach, explain pop diagnosis.

the guy stares at them and says, so you thought it was Hemorroides?

well it appears we were both wrong.


I thought i was going to fart

 

[Nige F]

Billy Butlin went into a barbers ... "going somewhere nice for your holidays sir " They are like sodding parrots. At least it used to be a giggle when they asked " something for the weekend ?"

 

[Norcon]

How to get a thread deleted.
Do a mock up of a cat as a suicide bomber and brand it a muslim.
To which silly PC people become offended and mad mods then delete the thread.
FFS.
If it had been a mock up of a japanese kamakaze cat would silly pc people become offended?
I don't think so.
Go and get a life FFS.

 

[solo]

 

[Norcon]

Brilliant.

 

[Estrella]

How to get a thread deleted.
Do a mock up of a cat as a suicide bomber and brand it a muslim.
To which silly PC people become offended and mad mods then delete the thread.
FFS.
If it had been a mock up of a japanese kamakaze cat would silly pc people become offended?
I don't think so.
Go and get a life FFS.

They deleted that ? Jeezzz gimme a break !

 

[namsag]

What would happen if that dog stood on a conveyer belt

 

[ColJack]

he'd fall off the back end of it..

now if he was running on a conveyor belt then that's another story..

 

[conny]

he'd fall off the back end of it..

THEN it would get deleted for showing a dangerous conveyor belt, thereby encouraging dogs to try this stunt at home!