Top tips...

[imamartian]

1. wallpapering gone awry, fill those gaps with a line of cotton/thread of the appropriate colour

2. bought a new shower curtain, cut it in two, and get someone (with a sewing machine of course) to sew a hem on each piece... two for one !!! (shower curtains are always too long)...

 

[gregers]

sharp knives hurt when slicing skin

dropping heavy items on foot hurt like hell so dont do it.

 

[foxhole]

2. bought a new shower curtain, cut it in two, and get someone (with a sewing machine of course) to sew a hem on each piece... two for one !!! (shower curtains are always too long)...[/quote]


Shower curtains come in different lengths, always purchase the right size.

 

[misterhelpful]

2. bought a new shower curtain, cut it in two, and get someone (with a sewing machine of course) to sew a hem on each piece... two for one !!! (shower curtains are always too long)...

That's OK for you Martians, but for us 6' 2" humans, I think they may be a bit short!

 

[joinerjohn]

John's top tip of the day :- When purchasing wallpaper for your living room, ask the next door neighbour how many rolls of wallpaper he bought and buy the same amount. Saves valuable time measuring the room.

 

[Space cat]

Final inspection chamber half full of sewage? Before you start unblocking it, prepare a safe spot to dump your dirty clothes and line up everything you need for a bath - not forgetting the Carlsberg Special!

 

[foxhole]

John's top tip of the day :- When purchasing wallpaper for your living room, ask the next door neighbour how many rolls of wallpaper he bought and buy the same amount. Saves valuable time measuring the room.

Only if your neighbour got it right and your living room is not twice the size.

 

[joinerjohn]

Well, Last time I decorated the mansion I asked my neighbour and he said he'd bought 14 rolls. I bought 14 rolls too and had 5 left over. Told the neighbour about it and he says it's strange, he had 5 rolls left as well.

 

[Barnsbury]

You pnly really need two things in your toolbag. Duct Tape and WD40
If it moves and shouldn't use duct tape
If it doesn't move and should use WD40

 

[BigRobCanUFixIt]

for middle aged men, remember to take half a viagra each day, it will help keep your slippers nice and dry.

all ways remember to pillage before you burn.

Only use the loo at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid.

Save on matches and lighters, by simply lighting your next fag from the butt of your last one.

A mouse trap placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.

Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windscreen wipers turned to 'fast wipe' whenever you leave your car parked illegally.