You must remember this -
- Thread starter empip
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You have lawns north of the Watford gap. I always thought it was turnips or ferret hutches.
Anyway it's been piddling down over the last few days so we don't need our sprinklers, washing the Bentley without a hosepipe seems to be a bit tiresome for the chaffeur though.
Anyway it's been piddling down over the last few days so we don't need our sprinklers, washing the Bentley without a hosepipe seems to be a bit tiresome for the chaffeur though.
You never had it so good...in the South, despite the rain we've had over the past few days, Thames Water in their infinite wisdom have applied for a drought order, which apart from the already enforced hose-pipe ban could mean we can't wash windows or cars(apart from wiping down windscreens, mirrors and number plates), limited to two glasses of water each a day unless pregnant or been out on the pop the night before, in which case we can have two-and-a-half.
No extra water in car radiator - if it runs dry must leave it until the raiding northerners come down to refill with their plentiful supply and confiscate it (we have been warned to not try to reason with them as they do not comprehend the finer vagaries of the Queen's English and are liable to thump us with their trusty black puddings, which each one conceals in their trousers as compensation for northern deficiencies, shouting ekee thump.
Can only flush the loo for number two's and afterwards wash our hands in recycled grey shower water, which is obtained from showers which must be taken by at least two people at a time (ok, its not all bad then), but if found washing each other too vigourously for too long (as cameras will be installed observing all water usage points) can be deported up north to be suspended in David Blaine's box without any water whilst observing the locals overindulging in the clear stuff.
All the time this ban is in force our water bills will be reduced by a half, not doubled as idle gossip has it, no doubt fueled by the north.
Okay, hallucinating now...I need a drink.
No extra water in car radiator - if it runs dry must leave it until the raiding northerners come down to refill with their plentiful supply and confiscate it (we have been warned to not try to reason with them as they do not comprehend the finer vagaries of the Queen's English and are liable to thump us with their trusty black puddings, which each one conceals in their trousers as compensation for northern deficiencies, shouting ekee thump.
Can only flush the loo for number two's and afterwards wash our hands in recycled grey shower water, which is obtained from showers which must be taken by at least two people at a time (ok, its not all bad then), but if found washing each other too vigourously for too long (as cameras will be installed observing all water usage points) can be deported up north to be suspended in David Blaine's box without any water whilst observing the locals overindulging in the clear stuff.
All the time this ban is in force our water bills will be reduced by a half, not doubled as idle gossip has it, no doubt fueled by the north.
Okay, hallucinating now...I need a drink.
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johnny_t said:I would say move up here to Yorkshire, as we've been told to get all our sprinklers and hoses on, just to stop the reservoirs overflowing, but we don't want all you daft Southern b*ggers up here....
Wheear 'as ta bin sin ah saw thee, On Ilkla Moor baht 'at?!
Tha's bahn t'catch thi deeath o'cowd On Ilkla Moor baht 'at
empip said:Wheear 'as ta bin sin ah saw thee, On Ilkla Moor baht 'at?!
Tha's bahn t'catch thi deeath o'cowd On Ilkla Moor baht 'at
Drove over there tonight. A fine contender for prettiest road. Had to avoid all the sheep in the road though
Oh and noodlz its actually 'ekky thump'
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a kiss is just a kiss, a thigh is just a thigh..........
Why is it Northerners think all Southerners (especially Londoners) drive Porches, and all Southerners think all Northerners are on the dole ???
Mind you the way things are going, all of us will be on the dole.[/i]
Mind you the way things are going, all of us will be on the dole.[/i]
I've never ever considered that a southerner could drive his porch! Would he fit a bumper and a reg. plate over the letterbox hole in the door?
Dunno look at the Sunday Times "Driving" section - premium motors galore and most are for sale south of Oxford. You need land rovers up north.
Dunno look at the Sunday Times "Driving" section - premium motors galore and most are for sale south of Oxford. You need land rovers up north.
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Sorry peeps we do not think about the chillie north too often and when we do, we thank our lucky stars for the sunny south... You bu-q-qers'll be migrating down here when the fuel prices treble.
4 yrs and 11 months from now at 25% p/a increase.. .But that is 2011 everything supposed to hit the target in 2010 ...
Someone in EuroGasLand has worked out that they can assist our govn in reaching their (not our) reduction promises by 2010, through the source fuel increases, just shift all that dosh we spend on cars over to essentials like electricity gas and water .. Soon Browny sticks the vat back up to 17.5% on domestic fuel he'll say twas EuroBossed, but that gets the triple up by 2010 ... Almost fits doesn't it?
They will say above the kerching of their cash registers, "Look 'ow we 'elp you, our little islander cash cows.. You may yet live to regret your past"
4 yrs and 11 months from now at 25% p/a increase.. .But that is 2011 everything supposed to hit the target in 2010 ...
Someone in EuroGasLand has worked out that they can assist our govn in reaching their (not our) reduction promises by 2010, through the source fuel increases, just shift all that dosh we spend on cars over to essentials like electricity gas and water .. Soon Browny sticks the vat back up to 17.5% on domestic fuel he'll say twas EuroBossed, but that gets the triple up by 2010 ... Almost fits doesn't it?
They will say above the kerching of their cash registers, "Look 'ow we 'elp you, our little islander cash cows.. You may yet live to regret your past"
empip said:
Bet the North can survive with treble fuel prices for longer than the South can survive with no rain.
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