One house I bought was owned by a DIY nutter. That's nutter in capitals and neon lights. I think B&Q must have had his picture up with candles in front of it. If he could get at it, he wrecked it. The only thing that was good was the roof, and that's only because he couldn't get on it.
Water? Oh yes. Everything compression joints. Never heard of a pipe bender. Radiators on the floor or half way up the wall. Or at odd angles. Pipes that went out and came back again. Wrong diameter pipes. One tap is a fire hose, but the bath only dribbles.
Gas? He tried that, he really did. To bend a feed to a gas fire, he simply put the pipe on the front step and stamped on it. Then he set it straight into cement.
Electrics? Now you're talking. He did everything. How he lived so long is a mystery. Boiler with connections wedged in with matchsticks. Cooker that could have gone live at any moment. Wires appearing out of nowhere (trying to hang a picture could be the last thing you ever did). Power shower into the wrong circuit (the fusebox caught fire later). He even made a light switch out of a large box of matches plastered into the wall with wires poked through the cardboard.
And there's more. Much more. But enough. The guy should have been stuffed and put in a glass case at the entrance to some technical college.
I feel better now.
Water? Oh yes. Everything compression joints. Never heard of a pipe bender. Radiators on the floor or half way up the wall. Or at odd angles. Pipes that went out and came back again. Wrong diameter pipes. One tap is a fire hose, but the bath only dribbles.
Gas? He tried that, he really did. To bend a feed to a gas fire, he simply put the pipe on the front step and stamped on it. Then he set it straight into cement.
Electrics? Now you're talking. He did everything. How he lived so long is a mystery. Boiler with connections wedged in with matchsticks. Cooker that could have gone live at any moment. Wires appearing out of nowhere (trying to hang a picture could be the last thing you ever did). Power shower into the wrong circuit (the fusebox caught fire later). He even made a light switch out of a large box of matches plastered into the wall with wires poked through the cardboard.
And there's more. Much more. But enough. The guy should have been stuffed and put in a glass case at the entrance to some technical college.
I feel better now.