A friend of mine, that worked with me for years contacted me again today.
He is very upset as his wife has left him, she left him a few weeks ago and only told me initially a couple of days ago. They'd been married close to 40 years and been together for from school.
When we met last time just before lockdown at a party he told me he'd taken slightly early retirement and was getting bored all alone at home. I told him to join some group/charity, get a dog etc. He said he wanted his wife to leave work as well and she is a few years younger than him and could easily take early retirement as they are comfortable, kids all married several grandkids but all live far away.
The guy likes a lol and as we were talking I said "you sure she's not got a younger man...lol" he laughed but his face turned sad. I apologised he said not to worry as he'd say the same to me re my OH. He was baffled why she would not leave work so they could both go on more hols/breaks, soend more time with family, etc etc and all she said is she got bored easily, likes her job - we both agreed fair enough. I said ask her to go PT but he said she won't...
Anyways we had a good time at the meet/party but his wife was not there she was at a friends party/birthday
When he called me (i did not call him as not wanting to revisit the hurt or be nosey) and
started taking about him begging her to return, that hurt me but could see him where he was coming from. But she said no and blamed him for being boring/set in his ways and all that rubbish. The guy I'd know for years at work was a nice family-oriented man that loved his wife and never had a bad word for her or her family/friends. He would always talk about her lovingly, do more than his fair share of cooking/housework imo.
I told him that when people cheat/deceive their loved one, they will say anything to justify their evil ways. He is devasted and the children have been around and stayed over the weekend.
I said to him that in the back of my mind when he said his wife would not leave work as discussed, she may be cheating on him but I could not say that without proof.
I sought his consent to tell my OH and warn others what to look out for as no one wants to be cheated on and deception is nasty, he agreed. What hurts the most was that the deceit had been going on for about ten years and all of the telltale signs were there when he thinks about it, EG, constantly texting, keeping the phone close to her and locked and in recent years out a lot more with so-called friends and dressing up more than before and say no more often in bed. A couple of years ago the wife suggested that she'd go on hols with friends and he should do the same. Younger people do that but not our age group, not as often.
People will cheat for whatever reason and most will blame their OH fro driving them into the cheating, decit etc and rarely admit that they were just nasty.
Why can't people be honest and tell their OH that it is no longer working and they need to go their own way and find someone else as it may hurt initially but not as much as finding by dragging it out or some other evidence?
Before anyone says this, you don't who my friend is, where they live etc, etc and he said it was ok to share without names.
I don't know what I'd do if I found out my OH was deceiving me and had been for some time.
I've had offers when I worked, that made me feel good as others stil wanted me and made me feel bad in saying no to them but I love my OH and do not want them to cheat on me so why should I do the nasty on them.
I'd go and see the guy but he lives in the north of the uk.
He is very upset as his wife has left him, she left him a few weeks ago and only told me initially a couple of days ago. They'd been married close to 40 years and been together for from school.
When we met last time just before lockdown at a party he told me he'd taken slightly early retirement and was getting bored all alone at home. I told him to join some group/charity, get a dog etc. He said he wanted his wife to leave work as well and she is a few years younger than him and could easily take early retirement as they are comfortable, kids all married several grandkids but all live far away.
The guy likes a lol and as we were talking I said "you sure she's not got a younger man...lol" he laughed but his face turned sad. I apologised he said not to worry as he'd say the same to me re my OH. He was baffled why she would not leave work so they could both go on more hols/breaks, soend more time with family, etc etc and all she said is she got bored easily, likes her job - we both agreed fair enough. I said ask her to go PT but he said she won't...
Anyways we had a good time at the meet/party but his wife was not there she was at a friends party/birthday
When he called me (i did not call him as not wanting to revisit the hurt or be nosey) and
started taking about him begging her to return, that hurt me but could see him where he was coming from. But she said no and blamed him for being boring/set in his ways and all that rubbish. The guy I'd know for years at work was a nice family-oriented man that loved his wife and never had a bad word for her or her family/friends. He would always talk about her lovingly, do more than his fair share of cooking/housework imo.
I told him that when people cheat/deceive their loved one, they will say anything to justify their evil ways. He is devasted and the children have been around and stayed over the weekend.
I said to him that in the back of my mind when he said his wife would not leave work as discussed, she may be cheating on him but I could not say that without proof.
I sought his consent to tell my OH and warn others what to look out for as no one wants to be cheated on and deception is nasty, he agreed. What hurts the most was that the deceit had been going on for about ten years and all of the telltale signs were there when he thinks about it, EG, constantly texting, keeping the phone close to her and locked and in recent years out a lot more with so-called friends and dressing up more than before and say no more often in bed. A couple of years ago the wife suggested that she'd go on hols with friends and he should do the same. Younger people do that but not our age group, not as often.
People will cheat for whatever reason and most will blame their OH fro driving them into the cheating, decit etc and rarely admit that they were just nasty.
Why can't people be honest and tell their OH that it is no longer working and they need to go their own way and find someone else as it may hurt initially but not as much as finding by dragging it out or some other evidence?
Before anyone says this, you don't who my friend is, where they live etc, etc and he said it was ok to share without names.
I don't know what I'd do if I found out my OH was deceiving me and had been for some time.
I've had offers when I worked, that made me feel good as others stil wanted me and made me feel bad in saying no to them but I love my OH and do not want them to cheat on me so why should I do the nasty on them.
I'd go and see the guy but he lives in the north of the uk.
