actual call centre phone conversations....

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Customer: "I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?".
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
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Samsung Electronics
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".
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RAC Motoring Services
Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?"
Operator: " Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"
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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):
If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"
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Directory Enquiries
Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".
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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland".
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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:

I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".
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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?".

Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".
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Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
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Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".
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There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

;Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
;Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.

Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.

Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
;
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too ****ing stupid to own a computer
 
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Zampa said:
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too **** stupid to own a computer
I have heard this before, but i have to say, i would probably react with some form of phone-rage if i got a support call like this. Some people really ARE too stupid to own a computer! People like this should be kept inside their homes between 7am and 11pm, to save the sane ones amongst us - stupidity is contagious after all. If only he had a cordless phone . . . what would he do then? :eek:
 
No mention on there though of the people who ring call centres and spend most of the time saying 'what' and 'pardon'... :rolleyes:
 
Zampa said:
No mention on there though of the people who ring call centres and spend most of the time saying 'what' and 'pardon'... :rolleyes:
this is usually down to those silly headsets (sets? for yer 'ead?) that they wear, they are either too loud or too quiet, never get it right :(
 
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crafty1289 said:
Zampa said:
No mention on there though of the people who ring call centres and spend most of the time saying 'what' and 'pardon'... :rolleyes:
this is usually down to those silly headsets (sets? for yer 'ead?) that they wear, they are either too loud or too quiet, never get it right :(


ummm, I'm not sure if that's what Zampa meant....I don't think it was a hearing thing.....
 
Spark123 said:
Think Zampa probably meant the regional accent barrier.

No, the anglo one...

Being hard of hearing myself its frustrating when people pronounce 'via' as 'wire' etc (leave it alone this time mods eh...read on and you might understand what m trying to say)

My mother cannot ring her banking or BT helpline because she simply cant understand them

The people are always polite but it seems there are two problems..one is accent and the other is not having the knowledge to sort the problems out.

Companies have now wised up to exploiting the cheap labour market in Asia, realising the problem that come with it..thats why some have now set up centres back here.

I have spoken to my local bank and service provider..both accept and admit that the language barrier is a massive problem.
 
I have to say, Zampa, i do agree with you. If I ever have to phone my bank, i put it off as long as i can, because i just know that at the end of all the auto-menus there will be someone sat in a call centre half way round the world, who has a silly quiet headset and a very strong accent. (Bank is HSBC, the worlds local bank :rolleyes: i see what they mean now).

Virgin mobile must have the best phone service i have ever come across - they are very friendly, entheusiastic sounding people, all English (well, ok, geordie ;) ), and when you're on hold, they play chart music :D

O2 aint so bad - they use Ventura call centres in Wath-upon-Dearne, South Yorkshire. But you do occasionally get through to someone abroad.

Out of interest, "they" reckon Geordie and South Yorkshire accents are the most trusted in the UK, which probably explains the popularity of these places for call centres - of course, theres the investment in "deprived" areas too. Scouse and cockney accents are the least trusted. i dont have a source for this, i just remember being told it in business studies at school :cool:
 
What your saying is right about the accents..

Watch out for those cockneys...right dodgy geezers!

Mickie mousers always sound like they are wining about somthing to me.

After living away from London for some 18 odd years I can understand why people think that about the london and southern englan accents...

Ive find the blokes all sound like car salesmen and are ready to 'do you a deal' and the women sound like they are a cross between being sarcastic and condescending....very cold accent IMO

I ring the CITB in Norfolk quite often, now theres an accent!...they all sound like 'margeret in admin' and totally bored.

The Welsh female accent is friendly..the male is ok.

Geordie...its a firnedly and warm accent..but what are they saying?????????????
 
I quite often have to phone our area office at work, Susan in the office always answers - she's usually the only one there, she's like the area co-ordinator and secretary to the area manager, she always answers with a cheery "good afternoon ****** **-**", it always makes me chuckle silently when she answers. When i finally met her, i was shocked. On the phone she sounds like an average 50-60 year-old woman. She looks like Yoda out of Star Wars, hunchback too, and talks with a lisp that you cant hear on the phone! My manager refers to her as "poison dwarf" :LOL:

Strange though, how you can get a mental image from someone you talk to on the phone, and in real life they look totally different!
 
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