Asking to use the toilet

[AdamW]

I had new carpets done a couple of weeks ago. About 2 hours and 3 very large mugs of tea into the job, the carpet fitter unsurprisingly asked me "Do you mind if I use your toilet?"

Of course, in that situation any normal person says "Go for your life", "Knock yourself out" or some other such phrase to indicate that he is welcome to use the toilet. I mean, what's he going to do, smear poo on the walls and wee on the toothbrushes? I'm pretty sure most people are quite savvy on the methodology of acceptable toilet-going behaviour.

I think it's obviously polite to ask, I would have asked if I was him. But I was wondering: does anyone ever refuse?

Have you ever been doing a job, asked "mind if I use your loo?" and been told "Actually, I do mind. You aren't allowed to wee in my lav, you dirty awful man!"

 

[andy]

if someone said no to me, i would just go and water their plants

 

[joe-90]

I know a person who does refuse. She's got this thing about germs and would spend most of the day cleaning up the bathroom. A mental health problem rather than rudeness.


joe

 

[poshman]

it wouldnt bother me if they refused me, I would use my old scouting skills and just tie it with a constrictor hitch knot

 

[AdamW]

I read that Kenneth Williams was like that, so would never invite people in, even his closest friends. His biggest fear was that they would ask to use the toilet.

 

[joe-90]

it wouldnt bother me if they refused me, I would use my old scouting skills and just tie it with a constrictor hitch knot

Have you ever tried untying a constrictor? It tightens like a ratchet. It's an amazing knot (yes it's a hitch really).


joe

 

[securespark]

Funny you should mention it, Adam.

I was just telling a colleague today that one of my customers (when I was s/e) refused.

I asked to go and she said "Actually, I'd rather you didn't"

I thought she was joking, but no.

Have yet to find a customer of Electrical Corp Inc who has refused me, but many many offer no drinks at all. Which helps, actually, cos then you don't need the loo....

 

[TexMex]

Years ago, while working as a milkman, there was one particular customer, that was, apparently, wheelchair bound. Each day, I would follow the standard practice of going around to the back door and delivering her milk directly into her fridge. She would always take the opportunity to have a chat, (which I didn't really have time for but, out of compassion, I would devote about 30 minutes to indulge her).

Frequently, when I had finished my rounds, I would also pop back when I had finished the round to do odd jobs for her (the list is endless but includes the replacement of the ball cock on her toilet cistern, repair of her beloved transistor radio, replacement of an innertube on her wheelchair, etc..)

This poor old lady wasn't very popular with her neighbours. I had been warned that shes a typical Natzi. It was explained to me that this description was nothing to do with her strong German sounding accent (she was actually Austrian), but more about her attitude of superiority and her belief that the rest of the world was at her beck and call.

Despite these warnings, I chose to take her at face value and was more than willing to help this poor lonely old lady, as and when I could. After all, she had never said anything to offend me.

One day, as I turned up with her milk (and an electric clock that I had taken home to repair the previous day). I was absolutely busting for the toilet. Naturally I casually asked, "Sorry, but do you mind if I use your toilet". Although I had never asked before, I was fully expecting a positive response. Instead I heard the most vitriolic rebuff of my life, along the lines of:

"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!. Do you think I live in a public convenience? You're nothing but a common tradesman. Why do you think I insist on having my milk delivered to the back door. Because your a tradesman, that's why. If you were anyone important enough to be allowed to use my toilet, I'd allow you to use the front door like my friends. Just because I chat to you every day doesn't make you special you know! Now get out of my house, GET OUT, GET OUT GET OUT!" By now she had also picked up her walking stick and was attempting to thrash me with it

Amazingly enough, the next day, I received a number of notes saying, "if ever you need a toilet, please don't hesitate to knock". Apparently she had told all her neighbours of the event and was surprised by their lack of sympathy for her. Oh, and when I got to Mrs Hs house, she went to great lengths to explain, "I do hope you didn't take anything I said to you yesterday too personally. Of course I like you, but there is a natural order to things that we must maintain. The very fabric of our civilisation relies on people knowing their place, so it's just as well we've cleared that up."

 

[AdamW]

but many many offer no drinks at all.

The few times I've had people in to do things I've always made it a rule to keep them refreshed. I hate being thirsty.

One hot summer's day I was having a water meter fitted. I offered the chap a cold drink, he gladly accepted. As he supped his orange juice he looked thoughtful for a minute and said "You know, there have been a couple of cases of kids shutting off the mains cock in the street and nicking the turnkey round here", he then retrieved the turnkey from under the cover (I didn't know it was there!) and handed it to me.

So, by simply offering someone a glass of orange juice I have learned how to shut off my water supply in an emergency (assuming it bursts upstream of the stopcock), been proofed against a mischevious scamp, and also learned a fun trick for the next time my nazi b*tch neighbour decides to bend my wing mirrors back for making the slightest of noises (seriously, she shouted at carpet fitters for making banging noises... ever tried fitting grippers quietly?!)

 

[geordie_e]

I always keep anyone helping or doing paid jobs in my house fully tanked up with hot brews or cold drinks..

Funny thinking about this... a couple of years ago I was having all my windows and doors replaced by a window company.
They had sent 3 crews (about 9 persons in all). Anyway I made the first brew for all of them no problems there.
As I was recovering from a knee op I thought it was best to explain to the gaffer that the kettle and brew kit was there and they were welcome to help themselves whenever they wanted..

Good idea I thought.. until 1 young un (about 18 yr old) said cheers mate, looks like I will be making the brews all day for the rest of the crew !!
It turns out he was in line for promotion to chief brew maker.. bless him

Im a field service EPOS engineer now and I always ask for a brew.. I know its cheeky but "shy bairns get nowt" as my mum says......

But I have never been refused to use a customer toilet !! I hope it never happens

Cheers
Geordie

 

[breezer]

not long after i started with a white goods company i was fixing this ladies w/m, i had it ALL to pieces, and i mean ALL, and ALL over the floor, (sitiing on dust sheet mind) i asked to borrow the toilet, she actually said NO

so i walked out and left m/c in pieces, went home (not that far away) told boss, and he went there several hours later to finish job, i told him why i left, and another word was never said.

On another note, a bloke i used to work with would NEVER use some one elses toilet to have a No2 in, i look at it that if you have to go you have to go (one bloke once didn't make it in time, but lets say no more)

 

[confidentincompetent]

Working outside i usually find a tree but this one particular house was impossible so ended up using toilet bout 3 times a day (8hrs) no problems. Next painting job was two houses down. The bloke said over a cup of tea do please use the toilet don't bother asking as Mrs x has told us your Diabetic!!!

 

[ohmygodwhathaveyoudone]

about 10 yrs ago when i did car valeting i was at a customers house and she said would you like a cuppa?then about half hour later she says would you like something to eat?o.k. i said,3 hot dogs with onions ,2 burgers and some chips. apparently they were having a bbq in the back garden yum yum yum.on one job i asked if i could use there loo and they said no,so when i leathered of there car i did it with yellow water. once worked at a nissan garage were we had to pdi the new imports and dewax them,saw what looked like a 12" plate under the seat and it moved it was actually a giant beetle and someone from marwell zoo came to collect it as it was quite endangered.
was doing a car for a nice lady in her 40's who wanted to watch me clean her car coz she was "bored",when i said can i use the loo she offered to show me were it was and said i could use the ensuite in her bedroom,when i got up there she said "theres a really nice view from the window if you stand on the bed"oooer. needless to say i gave the bodywork a good hand job.(and the car too ).
was once caught in a ladies bedroom when the front door went."quick in the wardrobe she said" it was sooooo difficult not to make a noise and give the game away,had to breath with my mouth open an and be completely rigid(that bit was'nt that hard)ended up in the wardrobe for 4 hrs in the end and had to do a runner through the back garden...i use a car wash now as it the wife wants to know why i don't do it by hand anymore.

 

[andy]

few month ago i was workin in a large open area. no toilets in there. altho there was a small building near (small office - public building) who kindly allowed us to use the toilets there. even when they closed (closed at 3, but they still work til about 6) they still let us in

 

[empip]

.......saw what looked like a 12" plate under the seat and it moved it was actually a giant beetle and someone from marwell zoo came to collect it as it was quite endangered.......

From a golden shower perhaps ???

Naughty boy Omy! Are you sure about the reasons you legged it to another area in the first place ... I remember the story.. !!
Ice pick ?? //www.diynot.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=60026&highlight=#60026