Bad Company

[calorific]

As parents, many of us are always worried about the calibre of friends that our pure and perfect own offspring hang about with. Do any of you think that a person can actually change their personality by mixing with different people, or is it innate, or is it fixed by the age of 5 (and thus pretty much parental in nature)?

 

[EB1caneyeB]

Good question calorific.

I don't think anyone has come up with the ultimate answers to this.

I do know though that if i had my time again i would find, and become firm friends with, Jo Frost aka super nanny.

 

[gregers]

of course,it comes down to peer pressure etc.

my brother when growing up had as many opportunities as i have/had but totally b.olloxed it all up and went away on holiday a few times.
now why was that.it was because of the company he kept and his irrational thinking that if he was awake why wernt certain premises?thus in turn getting caught,HE WASNT VERY GOOD at that either lol.
various jobs he managed to hold down a lot of them had potential but he soon got bored or sacked.
he never wanted to learn (ie college)and then spend 3-5 years yearning/learning with crap money,he failed to see the bigger picture.

 

[calorific]

Point taken, up to a point. In particular, do you think that for all of that, his situation rests easy with him or does he "know" hand on heart that things should have been different, since "that's not really him"? Hope you catch my meaning

 

[gregers]

Point taken, up to a point. In particular, do you think that for all of that, his situation rests easy with him or does he "know" hand on heart that things should have been different, since "that's not really him"? Hope you catch my meaning

er do you mean,

does he now realize he has been a total and utter t.wat.yes the times i have spoken to him over the years about it,
there is a lot of regret.

but the last time i spoke to him was to tell him he was an uncle again AND that was nearly 10 years ago.so i have no idea what he is up to now or where he is,and nor does his mum.his choice to alienate himself from the family.he doesnt even know his step dad died 2 years ago .i have over the years asked my mum if she would like me to try and find him and keep getting the same response from her NO!!!.he knows where i am. what can i do.?

i think once you have made your bed then it is extremely hard to climb your way out of it,so once your in there other things will become very enticing.

 

[calorific]

Or, for the sake of one's own sanity, one has to hide from one's actual personality. That's a lot of "one"'s

 

[gregers]

one could be correct,oh wise one

 

[LastMagicBean]

what can i do.?

You can try to be a decent Brother for starters.

 

[joinerjohn]

Dunno about that, calorific. My older brother was born into a working class family. Did well at school and eventually went to university. He gained a degree in nuclear physics in the mid 70's and is now certainly "Middle Class.". In fact he rejected his "council house " neighbours, in the early eighties. My dad always told him to remember his roots, but I always felt my brother moved on from his roots.

 

[calorific]

Dunno about that, calorific. My older brother was born into a working class family. Did well at school and eventually went to university. He gained a degree in nuclear physics in the mid 70's and is now certainly "Middle Class.". In fact he rejected his "council house " neighbours, in the early eighties. My dad always told him to remember his roots, but I always felt my brother moved on from his roots.

Thanks - I'd overlooked the other end of the spectrum

 

[EddieM]

Is it strange as an adult not to have any friends?

 

[Bodgeitandleggit]

As parents, many of us are always worried about the calibre of friends that our pure and perfect own offspring hang about with. Do any of you think that a person can actually change their personality by mixing with different people, or is it innate, or is it fixed by the age of 5 (and thus pretty much parental in nature)?

I am not sure if the person or who he hangs about with...but when I was a kid a family a couple of doors away had a couple of young lads ..the eldest went on to become a cid ,the second eldest went to uni and has emigrated to Canada but the third was always bunking school and when he was in school was always in trouble and after leaving school this was his pattern and eventually ending up in jail...what I can remember though the troublemaker hung around with the average kids so in his case I would say it was down to him.

 

[Diane2]

Is it strange as an adult not to have any friends?

yes

 

[cajar]

Is it strange as an adult not to have any friends?

ask ban-all-sheds

 

[EB1caneyeB]

I think most of us have mates. Some of us have friends. I think, personally, if you have one true friend then you are lucky.
People are complex. Thereby deeper relationships are inherently complex.

When i was young i was drawn toward 'wronguns'. Got myself in a lot of trouble. It can be a great time, and an awful time, (growing up). And, when young, you are bound to make a lot of wrong decisions.