As per above.
You can lop the tops of to a desired height. This should not kill them unless you lop them really low. Maybe 1/3 off their total height is a good start.
Regarding pruning the sides and general tidying. This is the tricky bit. If you are too aggressive, you will pretty much ruin them....forever.
In terms of cutting and shaping. Only cut a thin layer of new green growth. So shape and cut back, you must do this regularly and in small amounts.
If you cut back too much, you will just end up with a dead looking conifer....similar to this:
Conifers with patches like that can also be suffering from an infection of aphid larvae which burrow into the base of the green leaf and slowly kill it. If not too far-gone, it requires a liberal spraying every few weeks of horticultural soap in spring to resolve.
Furthermore, If you cut back whole branches to the trunk in mature/existing areas (i.e low down on the trunk) , they will never sprout again....ever.....so you will end up with permanently bare areas .....like this:
So treat them carefully, and shape over a long period of time. Regular light trimming will mean a tighter growth, and you can shape them nicely.
We had two large conifers in the front. We used to lop the tops every few years. They looked like flat tables for a while, but new branches soon sprout and start growing upwards.
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One other technique that really helps refresh them, is to rake them out. Basically bash and rake the sides with a hard pronged grass rake. Raking upwards in the direction of growth is the way to do it. Raking down will just bend the branches out.
As people trim conifers/laylandii, the dead stuff gets trapped within the branches. Overtime this ends up forming a thick layer of dead matter. If you lightly rake it out, it is amazing how much will come out. This will allow better airflow and more light penetrate and eventually encourage better growth.
I was quite aggressive with my rake out this spring and removed half a wheelie bin of dead matter from a 3metre section of 6.5ft laylandii.
It took a while to recover but looks much healthier now.