1. Visiting from the US? Why not try DIYnot.US instead? Click here to continue to DIYnot.US.
    Dismiss Notice

Do you believe in Santa

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by htgeng, 24 Dec 2012.

  1. htgeng

    htgeng

    Joined:
    1 Jun 2004
    Messages:
    2,123
    Thanks Received:
    99
    Location:
    Lancashire
    Country:
    United Kingdom
    This is shamelessly copied from elsewhere on the web and has been floating around at least 15 years.

    I. There are approximately two billion children ( persons under 18 ) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per house hold, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each.

    II. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second.

    This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second -- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional Reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

    III. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional Reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" Reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them -- Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

    IV. 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second crates enormous air resistance -- this would heat up the Reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of Reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second, each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the Reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire Reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

    V. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.
     
  2. Sponsored Links
  3. joe-90

    joe-90

    Joined:
    28 Oct 2005
    Messages:
    31,284
    Thanks Received:
    1,063
    Country:
    United Kingdom
    And if he's alive he's got a crap sex life emptying his sack just once a year. :confused:
     
  4. gregers

    gregers

    Joined:
    28 Mar 2008
    Messages:
    6,301
    Thanks Received:
    500
    Location:
    Sussex
    Country:
    United Kingdom
    yep but just think HOW BIG HIS SACK WOULD BE?
    it would be quantity over quality :LOL:
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  5. joe-90

    joe-90

    Joined:
    28 Oct 2005
    Messages:
    31,284
    Thanks Received:
    1,063
    Country:
    United Kingdom
    Tork about a knee trembler. :p :p
     
  6. pred

    pred

    Joined:
    2 Feb 2011
    Messages:
    4,691
    Thanks Received:
    40
    Location:
    Bristol
    Country:
    United Kingdom
    FFS, If its posible for Jehovas son to feed 5000 on a tin of sardines and turn water into an alcoholic beverage, then i personally see no problem with "The Man in Red" going at the speed of light or faster, have you never heard of worm holes??

    You are obviously a non believer, probably you were a bad boy and Santa flew over your house!!
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  7. Sponsored Links
  8. Astra99

    Astra99

    Joined:
    1 Feb 2011
    Messages:
    902
    Thanks Received:
    144
    Location:
    Gloucestershire
    Country:
    United Kingdom
    Oh come on! Didn't anyone ever tell you that Santa has his brothers and cousins to help him. That's how there's a Santa is in every store! They all work together to get the presents to the good children.

    Trying to explain Santa in terms of pure science will work about as well as using a chocolate fireguard!
     
  9. gregers

    gregers

    Joined:
    28 Mar 2008
    Messages:
    6,301
    Thanks Received:
    500
    Location:
    Sussex
    Country:
    United Kingdom
    "The Man in Red" going at the speed of light or faster, have you never heard of worm holes??

    yeah but surly that depends on how much 'coke hes had'
    ;) :D
     
  10. Surely everyone knows that 'santa time' is different to our time. Santa works at normal speed but we work at a much slower speed - particularly apparent in the guys working on all the essential road works in the lead up to christmas.
     
  11. Space cat

    Space cat

    Joined:
    9 Sep 2007
    Messages:
    3,862
    Thanks Received:
    74
    Location:
    Newcastle upon Tyne
    Country:
    United Kingdom
Loading...

Share This Page