drive through cashpoint instructions!

[kevindgas]

Please note that with the arrival of the new "Drive-through" cash point machines in the UK, customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable users to use this new facility the following procedures have been drawn up.

Please read the procedure that applies to your own circumstances (i.e. MALE or FEMALE) and remember them for when you use the machine for the first time.
Male Procedure

1 Drive up to the cash machine.
2 Wind down your car window.
3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN
4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5 Remove card and receipt
6 Drive off


Female Procedure

1 Drive up to cash machine
2 Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine
3 Re-start the stalled engine
4 wind down the window
5 Find handbag, remove all contents on the passenger seat to locate card
6 Locate make-up bag and check make-up in rear view mirror
7 Attempt to insert card into machine
8 Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car
9 Insert card
10 Re-insert card the right way up
11 Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page
12 Enter PIN
13 Press cancel and enter correct PIN
14 Enter amount of cash required
15 Re-check make up in rear view mirror
16 Retrieve cash and receipt
17 Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside
18 Place receipt in back of cheque book
19 Check eyelashes in mirror
20 Drive forwards 2 metres
21 Reverse back to cash machine
22 Retrieve card
23 Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided
24 Restart stalled engine and pull off
25 Drive for 3 to 4 miles
26 Release hand brake

 

[adlplumbing]

 

[SDMCF]

Although I am a bloke I can see the advantage of the female version. At least they get some cash. The male procedure seems to leave the requested cash in the machine.

 

[kevindgas]

Although I am a bloke I can see the advantage of the female version. At least they get some cash. The male procedure seems to leave the requested cash in the machine.

i just leave the card!! doh!!

 

[snico]

Although I am a bloke I can see the advantage of the female version. At least they get some cash. The male procedure seems to leave the requested cash in the machine.

1 Drive up to the cash machine.
2 Wind down your car window.
3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN
4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5 Remove card and receipt
6 Drive off

 

[SDMCF]

Perhaps you have never used a cash machine. You can't just enter the amount of money and withdraw it. You have to remove your card before the machine spits out the cash. So the instructions:

5 Remove card and receipt
6 Drive off

will leave your cash sitting in the machine

 

[snico]

Perhaps you have never used a cash machine. You can't just enter the amount of money and withdraw it. You have to remove your card before the machine spits out the cash. So the instructions:

5 Remove card and receipt
6 Drive off

will leave your cash sitting in the machine

You're right, I have never used a cash machine before!

 

[cajar]

Perhaps you have never used a cash machine. You can't just enter the amount of money and withdraw it. You have to remove your card before the machine spits out the cash. So the instructions:

5 Remove card and receipt
6 Drive off

will leave your cash sitting in the machine

In another machine but not THIS one, as the instructions say otherwise.

 

[Space cat]

The teenage version:

1 Drive up to the cash machine.
2 Wind down your car window.
3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN
4) Press buttons in sequence known only to you and your mates.
5) Play space invaders.